When we first went into quarantine, I asked my Peeps on Facebook who were suddenly working from home with their kids to replace “my co-worker” with “my kid” and OMG I have never laughed so hard in my life. Here are a few of my favorites:
My coworker broke into her older coworkers room and then spread makeup glitter all over her naked body. A little while later I found her wearing swimming goggles and using scissors, she told me she was doing “NUFFIN.” I’m about to quit. – Emily Lauderdale
My coworker sat on my lap with no pants or underwear during the staff meeting. – Jenna Sytman
My coworker cried and freaked out over insects for the entire half hour long team building walk. – Amanda Isaacs
My co-worker decided to poop next to her desk this morning, our fault tho, no one asked if she was potty trained before hiring her. – Vale Iribarren Contreras
My co worker picked her nose during our all hands meeting on how to wash your hands. – Portia Adrianna Sanchez
My coworker chased a squeak ball but stopped mid-chase to lick his butt after he barked at his own back-end emission. (Do the fur-kids count bc the real kids have been angelic.) – Amy Volk Berger
My coworker doesn’t understand that I graduated 7th grade a LONG time ago. – Amy Mayo
My co-worker crawled into my lap and asked for snuggles then I had to remind him that there was work to be done, then he reminded me that he’s only gunna be little for a little while, so I’m snuggling my co-worker! – Desiree Brown
My coworker thinks she’s on vacation and can mingle with her coworkers. – Lana Marshall Coleman
My co-worker spilled an entire glass of Powerade on my bill book and cell phone, I then had to use almost half a roll of gold (paper towels) to clean said mess while she blankly stared at me. – Jessica Bourgeois
My coworker calls his underwear his wonderwear!! – Ronda Vanderkooi
My coworker coughed in my face and threw a ball of play-dough at me. – Jessica Menzel
One of my coworkers lied about her workload. The other one peed his bed. – Ashley Mottard
My coworker told me not to say tooth tooth OR potty as they are baby words – I reported her to HR. My other coworker at a half stick of butter – I wrote him up too. – Maxx Teas
I had to tell my coworker that it was not ok to sniff my other coworkers butt crack. Nor was it ok to sniff his toes. – Torey Gagnon
My coworker laid in the floor and cried because I hugged him! – Angela Kemper
My coworker had no clean undies this morning. – Melissa Fulton
My coworker refused to take a lunch break and then cried because we were all on lunch break without him. – Nasha Gonzalez
My coworker helped me put together some chocolate milk for my other coworker #teamwork – Becky Alaniz
My coworker told me “that she got a job and she was so much better than I will ever be …” – Amber Mathers
My coworker walked in on me in the bathroom today yelling how she wanted to spend her day and then just left the room. Door open and all. – Alexandria Rae Lyall
One coworker keeps sighing at me and asks for breaks every 15 minutes! The other coworker always seems to be on a “conference call” that sounds suspiciously too fun … – Elaine Chan
My coworker told me I shouldn’t have had another child aka our other coworker! – Labree Stockstill
My coworkers have established a ninja fight club during regular office hours. – Alicia Florence-Dafoe
My coworkers think the chair I sit on is the only one we have, so they sit on top of me all they can. – Karla Varela de Rivera
My coworker gathered together all the stools in our office and engineered a tower of which she attempted to climb before being interrupted by management. Later she refused to participate in the mandatory office rest break. – Stephanie Smith
My coworker took 987.644,889,543,886, selfies at work today. – Anna Constantinides Bonich
I am currently turning in a request for a transfer either for myself, or these lazy coworkers of mine. Grandma has denied the transfer. – Suzanne Maddox Krone
JOIN THE FUN ON MY FACEBOOK PAGE!
Photo by Terricks Noah on Unsplash
