“Mom, when I grow up, are my boobs going to point down like yours do or out like other people’s?”
This is a question my daughter once asked me when I was getting out of the shower. I was mortified. Ummm … how exactly was I supposed to answer this? I wanted to tell her that I hold her and her brother 100% accountable for the state of my boobs. Tell her that they pointed OUT, thankyouverymuch, before she and her brother used them as chew toys for months on end. But I bit my tongue. Let it go. I figured it was a one-off. She wasn’t going to keep making insensitive comments about my looks … was she?
Yes, apparently she was.
The next time she asked why my belly was so “blubbery” and why my butt “jiggled.” And then a few weeks later she tossed out a real doozy.
Someone mentioned my husband and son looked a lot alike and she flipped out. “No fair,” she screeched. “I want to look like Daddy!!!!!”
“But you look like me! People always say you look like me!” I said.
She looked disgusted. “I don't look like you. You have brown hair. My hair is blonde.” (My daughter really loves having blonde hair. It’s a major part of her identity. I hate to break it to her that it’s just a matter of years before it turns poop brown like mine.)
“They’re talking about our faces, honey, not our hair color.”
“Our faces don’t look alike. Mine is all smooth and yours is all bumpy and wrinkly.”
Bumpy and wrinkly? BUMPY AND WRINKLY???? Now that’s low.
I know my daughter doesn’t mean to hurt me with her comments. Kids just tell it like it is, and she’s just being honest. And she’s right. My skin is bumpy and wrinkly. And my boobs do point down. After I licked my wounds and told her that it isn’t nice to say things like that to people, I realized I didn’t want my daughter to see I was upset over her comments about my looks. I didn’t want to be upset over her comments.
I wanted to show her that I don’t really give a crap. I might have pimples and crow’s feet and saggy boobs, but on the inside I’m beautiful and always will be, even when I’m 97-years-old. I want to teach my daughter to love herself for HER, not for her perky boobs or flawless skin. Because let me tell you, those things don’t last forever. And if you’re pinning your happiness on them, you’re screwed.
Right on, Deva! Teach your daughter that true beauty is inside her – and inside you, too! If you have to, tell her G-d made us that way!
🙂
Spot on kids tell it how it is! My son was poking at my belly and this was a bit after I had given birth and he asked if there was another baby in my tummy! I told him no and he replies you sure or is that why its all jiggly now?
LOL! I can’t tell you how many times my daughter has asked me that 🙂
Ah, this post is so familiar… For some reason, all 3 of my kids feel quite free to comment on my less-than-perfect physical qualities. I always tell my boys that I won’t get pissy, but they might not want to be so eager to make those casual observations to their wives… She may not appreciate their candor… I’m just trying to make sure I get to be a grandma someday.
So I have a new favorite song that I’m gonna start listening to with all 3 of my kids, but especially my 6-year-old daughter. It’s by Sarah Haze and it’s simply called “Lovely”. It’s a fantastic message for everyone, y’all should check it out!!
I agree! Wives do not tolerate comments like this as well as moms do. My husband once said, “Moo” to me when I was pregnant. I didn’t speak to him for a week!
When my daughter was younger – her & I were in the shower together. I turned to face the shower to rinse my face & all of a sudden I feel her poking my butt cheeks with her little finger. I asked her what she was doing & she replied “I’m counting all the dimples on your hiney”. :-/ That was the last shower with her.
I’m dying, Kari. So funny. UGH! Why do they insist on pointing out our flaws?
My son, then aged about 5 or 6, once pointed out “your tummy looks like a second boobs!”
Ugh, I feel your pain, Ruth!
Ok. Love your blog!!!!! I can soooo relate! I’m in the trenches now too!! 🙂 My 2 1/2 year old asked my a couple days ago when she walked in on me getting dressed “them you boobs, mom??” (Disgusted face, wrinkled nose) I put a bra on. “Why you squish your boobs, mom? Eew.” Omg.2. Mortified.
HA! So hilarious, Suzanne. Out of the mouths of babes, right??? Thank you for your kind words about my blog! I’m so honored and happy to have you here.
I’m starting to come around on the “observations” because I realized my kids are not judging me, just observing. My middle daughter is always pulling up my shirt to cuddle into my (softer than it used to be) belly. “I love your squishy belly, mommy.” she tells me. “It is soft enough for all the cuddles in the world.” (Also squishy thighs) We could all use a little affirmation of our love handles!
Amen, Katey!!!
Oh my gosh! This is my life! I’m pregnant with my third (early pregnant) and my daughter asked to see my stomach while I was lying down. She saw it and said, “Mom, your tummy looks like a really saggy boob.” Thanks sweetie! She has also asked me why my butt jiggles so much and why I have stripes on my tummy. I wanted to tell her that she did that to me, but I bit my tongue and said I was turning into a tiger. She thought that was pretty cool. I’m like cut me some slack baby, I do p90X 5 times a week.
They can be far too honest, can’t they? Good luck with #3 Lindsay!
Thank you sharing. My daughter does the same thing…she is 12 and has been doing this. I read this to my daughter too.
OMG!!!!!!!!!????!!
My daghter is 14 and she has biger,pointed bobs than me.
My 6 year old daughter looked at me the other day and said “Mommy! You’re almost thin again!”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Well my daughter informed me once as I was bent over blow drying my hair that I have pig boobies!!! Well thank you sweetie. I’m guessing it was the certain pointy sag I had at the moment that made me resemble a pig!!
LOL! That is hilarious. Poor moms, we really hear it, don’t we Nancy? Ugh.
You look absolutely beautiful. I’m a guy so I know these things!
My 4 yr old son likes to sit on me all the time and when he is cuddling he will sometimes rub my belly like I am pregnant. I always ask him to please not do that he says he likes that mommy is soft and cuddly . I just don’t have the heart to tell him mommy doesn’t wanna be so soft and squishy. XD LOL
LOL! Kids love how squishy we are. We don’t quite as much 🙂
My 4 yr old son likes to sit on me all the time and when he is cuddling he will sometimes rub my belly like I am pregnant. I always ask him to please not do that he says he likes that mommy is soft and cuddly . I just don’t have the heart to tell him mommy doesn’t wanna be so soft and squishy. XD LOL
LOL! Yeah, they like us better squishy. If only we did too!
When I was 2 weeks post-partum with my third I was earing this purple night gown and bent down to pick something up and my oldest who was 4 at the time said “Oh mom, I thought you were the hippo from Madagascar!” Out went the night gown!
I spit my tea out at this one! Sorry Mamato5nunns … kids say the craziest things!
I love this so much simply for the fact that my six year old told me the other day that she wanted to have pointy boobs like her older sister, not floppy boobs like mine. My response? I wasn’t as nice as you were.., “Baby your sisters won’t be pointy forever either, sorry about your luck!” Hahaha
Ha ha! That’s the truth!
Hahahha…. My son does “jiggle jiggle jiggle…” On my belly all the time. So much that it can go unnoticed sometimes.
I was giving directions to a completely strange on a parking lot when the guy couldn’t holdback his laugh and when I look at him completely clueless, he kept saying, “Oh I am sorry, I’m sorry… It is just your son… Kids are the best aren’t they?”
OMG Nayda that’s hysterical.
When my 5 years boy asked me “mum why are you fat?” He saw sadness in my eyes so he immediately corrected ” No your not fat at all, let’s say you are …. thick…”
He corrected himself. Fat is a jugement, thick is just a fact… thick validated… unecessary then to explain he was responsible for my thickness …
My son poked my belly once and said ” it’s nice and squishy, just like a pillow” and proceeded to use it as one …