Okay, let’s admit it. Newborn babies are ugly.
With their cone-shaped heads, baby acne and puffy eyelids they aren’t winning any Gap baby model contests. Not yet.
Despite that fact, parents everywhere insist on sending out photos of their splotchy bundles of joy to everyone on Facebook within hours of delivery. And of course you have to reply with an overly emotive “Ohmygod, he’s sooooo adorable!” or you are a terrible person.
Sometimes I wish I could just be brutally honest. Would it be so terrible if I just said, “He’s really fugly looking right now. I’m sure he’ll be cute in a few weeks. Why don’t you send me a picture then?” Of course my friend would never speak to me again. But in reality, I’m never going to see her now that she’s a mom anyway, so what have I got to lose? And even if I do talk to her, there will always be a crying baby in the background and as the child grows she’ll spend more time talking to the baby than talking to me.
Alright, maybe I’m being a little harsh. I guess not all babies are ugly at birth. There were two babies who were utterly gorgeous from the moment they arrived. Mine. No really, this isn’t just mommy-bias, they were perfect looking. Everyone we emailed the photos to said so.