My daughter is tiny. Not 5th-percentile-tiny, but tiny, tiny. Like not on the growth chart tiny. She’s apparently so alarmingly tiny that people assume I am a total idiot and don’t feed her.
“Have you tried noodles?” Some random Sanctimommy says at Mommy and Me class. Hmmmm, noodles. Wow, what a brilliant suggestion! Why the heck didn’t I think of that?! Yes, lady, I’ve tried noodles. Considering that’s pretty much all any kid under the age of six eats, odds are I’ve tried freakin’ noodles. Thanks for the unsolicited advice, lady. *SNORT*
Even grandma is in on the game. She’ll call me up and suggest I give my daughter formula. “I got it! Try Similac!” As if that weren’t the first thing the doctors suggested when my baby started to plummet off the growth chart. As if I haven’t been ramming a bottle/spoon/sippy cup down her esophagus for the past 12 months begging her to take a sip.
And don’t get me started on the doctors and nutritionists who make helpful suggestions as to what to feed my kid. The issue isn’t what to feed her. The issue is SHE WON’T EAT!
Bottom line, I’m trying, people. I’M TRYING!!!! Breastfeeding. Formula. Noddles Milkshakes. I’ve tried everything. My kid is just small. Got it?