A few days ago a friend came over for a play date with her child. Her ONE child. Her ONE FEMALE child. After she left, she called a mutual friend and said she thinks there’s something wrong with my son. Apparently she said he’s “wild” and “crazy” and “a total a-hole.” Well what the hell does she expect? He’s a 4-year-old BOY! Of course he’s a wild, crazy a-hole!
I hate parents who get all judgy about rambunctious boys. I know what they’re thinking as they smirk at me over their non-fat soy chai lattes while my son barrels down the slide headfirst at 45 miles per hour. I know what they’re thinking, because I was one of those moms.
Once upon a time, I had one kid too. A girl. An adorable, sweet, calm girl. I sneered at moms of “active” boys and assumed something was wrong with the kid or the mom or both. “He can’t sit for 3 hours and do Rainbow Loom? GASP! My daughter can …”
Then my son was born. And the difference between him and my first, female child was immediately apparent. At 6-months-old, he started throwing things at people’s heads. At a year, he became obsessed with moving vehicles. He'd bounce like a frog on Redbull screeching, “Ca! Ca! Ca!” every time he saw a car. He started running before he started walking. In my son’s world, sticks are all swords and any high surface is an invitation to climb. He saw a squirt gun in the prize box at the pediatrician (what the??) and instantly knew a) he had to have it and b) exactly how to use it despite the fact that he’d never seen a (fake or real) firearm before in his life.
He’s all boy.
The truth is, the day of the play date he wasn’t even that bad. Sure, he was excited to have someone come over to play so he was showing off a little. “Hey, look at me! I can jump off the sofa and my mom won’t yell because there’s a witness in the house!” But it’s not like he bit or hit his friend (he saves that for his sister). It’s not like he did anything different than any other preschool boy would do. He was just being a dude. A little, active, excited dude who was thrilled to have a play date because he's a second child and his mom sucks and never schedules them.
So yes, my son may be “wild” and “crazy.” And sure, he can be a total a-hole—who can’t be? But there’s nothing wrong with him. He’s just a boy. And I love that about him. I love his energy and his impish smile. Even if I do wish on occasion that he would sit for 3 hours and do Rainbow Loom like his sister.
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Another awesome article. I have a son too, and he’s my only kiddo, so I ONLY know jumping, and running, and swords! I can’t imagine it any other way 🙂
Aw, thanks Ada!! Yes, having a boy after a girl is quite a shock. You got all the crazy stuff right off the bat 🙂
This was a great! I have a same but different situation….three kids. Two boys, third is a girl. My boys are sweet, caring, compassionate, etc. My daughter is the one that makes me grey! Shes the tomboy, yet overly dramatic. I love her to the moon and back, and while I wouldnt trade her for anything, my husband and I have often said is she was our first, she would have been our last!
I’m with you on this one! My son was first and was sweet and shy and while he definitely had his “all boy moments” he was pretty well-behaved. My 4 year old daughter on the other hand is a demon. We joke that if she wasn’t this funny and cute she’d probably be duct taped to the ceiling by now. SHE is the one giving us a run for our money and who my husband (and son) threaten to move out for her teen years. Some days I have to just laugh and shake my head while doing my best to try to keep her ‘tude to a minimum. (Seriously, how the heck does a 4 year old girl living in a house with a dad, brother and tomboy mom learn to have this much SASS?) And admit that while I’d love to take credit for my son’s great behavior as a pee wee, I’m learning to realize that it’s more about their personality than my stellar (or not-so-stellar) parenting skills. Tolerance goes a long way! 🙂
That is how it is for me. My son is really well behave, pretty quiet and shy. He has his moments but is mostly a great kid. My youngest daughter has been a handful. She is a sweetheart but will throw fits, climb stuff, jump, bounce all over, gets dirty and is just a wild child sometimes. But with work she behaves a lot better
Definitely take umbrage at the “He’s a BOY!” theme of this. My girl has the energy and activity level of any boy I’ve ever met. While it might look like a gender thing, it definitely isn’t!!
My second child, the boy, is also pretty active, but pales in comparison to his big sis!
Though I’m definitely with you re: the stares!
I have a girl and she acts the same way. Never sits still and best enjoys occupying herself by jumping on the couch or doing headstands on it. If there is a general difference between young girls and boys behaviour I truly believe it comes from socialization and media, not from their vulvas. There are lots of differences between kids…but because they are different human beings, not because of their sex.
We say the same about our girl. She is wild. If she would have been first she would have been an only child. Our boy can be wild but our girl is always wild. We love it about her but I do not see how we could handle two of her;)
Same here! We had 2 boys first then our girl. She is definitely our wild child. I think if she was our first she would have been our last, she is such a handful!
Absolutely! It can be the other way around. Girls can be just as energetic and crazy! In my house, it just happens to be the boy that is nutso and the girl that is calm!
Yep. I might just be brain damaged because my wild child was my first born. My daughter has sooo much energy and spunk and SASS that not even my teen siblings can stand her. Then my son is sweet a lil shy and likes to play fair and nice ALL the time (except with his sister of course, but no judgement there. Lol) They are completly different in personalities but most of all they break the “myth”. In the hispanic latino comunity there is no such thing as a wild girl. Girls are ALWAYS easier than boys. Well props to my daughter for not being afraid to break the mold and be her self no matter what. And major props to you Deva bacause its sooo true. Other single child parents can get soo judgemental when thier only sweet and “angelic” child dosent come close to other lil monsters. I love your videos! Big fan.
I totally understand Joni! My sons were about 2 years apart so they had each other to torment. My daughter came along 11 years after the last boy….what a difference!!! She is my athlete, my terror! Rather than play a calm sport, she is a soccer nut wanting to play goalie!! (Talk about grey hair!!) She is now a teenager and has not slowed down one bit…only now we have that teen attitude. Lord, help me get through the next few years…she is learning to drive!!!
Hahaha!! We say the same thing about our last child (6 year old girl!). She is ornery, bratty, sassy, cute and funny. It’s a good thing she is cute…that’s what saves her
God does this to us with the first one so we will have more!
We have three girls and one boy, and our youngest (a girl) is BY FAR wilder and crazier than our son ever was!!
Mine are flip-flopped (when it comes to some things). My son was first. He’s laid back and calm, and now just starting to really be more rambunctious (he’s 8 and getting more guy friends). My daughter is my crazy-jumping of the couch- daredevil-princess!!! She’s 4 and wants to be a princess, but wants to roughhouse too 🙂
Sounds like me. I wonder if my oldest brother and I got physically orientated, strong, tall, rough, moody kids because we were that. Only thing is, I remember that I didn’t even try HALF the things my son tries, or their sons have tried. I wonder if it’s because our culture now is more tolerant of bad behavior and less tolerant of the ‘imaginary play” we did because it “sounded bad”–like we had 2-3 uncles that served in Vietnam and our Dad loved war and police shows, movies and WESTERNS! So we imaginary played those out, even imaginarily bringing in the uncles into it periodically in war maneuvers, games, and “secret missions”. One place we carried out our secret missions was in the bushes of the local park, where we could pretend we were in the jungle. Somehow the lady next store thought that was really cute and put up with it, but a number of people did advise us that pointing our “guns’ at “enemy passersby” would not “go over”. People of the time had less trouble with this than the later “net-hippie” and gang activity in the park–that got so bad the police had to eventually clear them out because they were bullying us kids, extracting money from people by “non violent means’, selling and doing drugs in the park, and harassed “weak people.” I don’t have a good view of them because they something that really hurt me personally. Before sharing the exact thing I need to share that I was into collecting rocks, bark samples that fell on the ground, nuts and other things and identifying them and labeling them, along later with bugs–my mom didn’t like that habit very much, especially when I did later make a gift of a butterfly collection to my best friend. That was because it was the only part of my collections she actually liked, and i gave it to my friend before my brother could use it for an insect collection project issued every year by the seventh grade biology teacher. He made everyone collect insects, kill them, label them and set them up in a collection, to be turned over to him about a month from the end of the Spring semester. 100 for an A, 75 for a B, 50 for a C, and 25 for a D, and they all had to be different species, all adults, and had to be fully intact (no damage of any kind). I didn’t think it would have been fair for him to start out with someone else’s work anyway, but my mom in noticing my collection habits saw a boxed set of labeled rocks and bought it for me for my birthday. My friends and a couple of my brother’s friends heard about it and wanted to see it, so I brought it outside to show them and while we were looking at it, a group of teen hippy guys came by, seized it, and tore the contents apart. The one black haired hippy guy I particularly remember tossed a $1.50 in quarters at me and the ripped apart parts while laughing at my tears and sauntered down the side walk laughing. I remember one guy looking guilty and sad in passing, (I HOPE he felt that guilt.) But what I remember is that’s the first time in my life i really hated anyone–really hated a person, meaning the ringleader that laughed at a little girl. A couple of the parents of my friends scolded me for taking it out of the house to show my friends and scolded my mom for letting me or not knowing that I had done it. And I remember getting angry at them too because I thought those boys had no business doing what they did. Those guys disappeared later on, because they were also doing drugs and other acts of bullying and vandalism and stealing. But I wonder if our boys are the way they are because of the way we were, with our imaginary war play, daring each other to do dangerous things, doing dangerous things anyway, and pushing ourselves to the limit with all that. I remember doing things like WALKING across “monkey bars” without hanging onto anything, climbing to parts of playground equipment we weren’t suppose to, sneaking down to the open sewer dialect area (open to the sky, of course, and I went in the middle of the day in the summer NEVER at night!) because the druggies would spray paint interesting pictures on the walls when they did drugs there at night, climbing all the way to the tops of trees, and walking half a mile all the way to the local mall when I was only 7 years old when my mom thought I was in the park. I wonder if what I see in my kids is my payment for what I did to MY PARENTS! I know my mom didn’t like me scaling the patio wall, the house, the highest parts of playground equipment, and the weaker branches of our trees or crawling through thorny taller rose bushes even in my jacket, slacks and shoes. If she had known about my viewing the “art gallery” in the open viaduct sewer, she would have grounded me FOREVER.
I guess you named you blog well if your kid acts like you describe I bet your life sucks!!!
mummy of 2 – I think that her blog is entitled “MY Life Suckers”. I have for 3 boys and 1 girl. As toddlers, the older ones were calm. My third son on the other hand – they had a difficult time getting his heartbeat while I was pregnant because he would not be still in the womb! When they are little, they are learning social behavior. To expect perfection (which is a relative term by the way) form preschoolers is setting them and yourself up for failure and frustration. Get over yourself mummy of 2 and your judgmental comment. If you really believe that your children can do no wrong, I guarantee you that they are or will at one time be eating boogers, jumping on a bed, having a meltdown or Heaven Forbid – having fun running down the bread aisle at the grocery store sliding into the bread display at the last 20 feet!
or it may even wait till their teen years and they are sneaking out to meet members of the opposite sex or go to parties, a person who believes that child can do no wrong is a fool, each one of my three boys had completely different personalities, they had their great moments, but could be little hellions, and then go to a friends house to stay , and the next day the parents would comment on how polite they were and well-behaved, I would ask “are you sure you are talking about my kid” and most of their teachers loved them, they saved most of their aggression for sports and when they were at home. I was never stupid enough to believe my kids couldn’t be wild or would not cause or get into trouble, one thing I will say is that I knew my children well enough that I could spot a lie across a crowded room with them they didn’t get by with much.
well, mommy to 2, we can’t all afford the amount of chloraizepam you’re clearly slipping into the family well.
Ummm..yeah, slipping someone a substance that doesn’t exist would be pretty effective. Did you mean clonazepam?
Well, “mummy to 2” this is all pretty normal kid behavior–boy or girl. How do you think we survived as a species? It wasn’t by sitting around and being compliant, that’s for sure. Parenting is not for the weak.
Why would you say something so hateful to a complete stranger? I’d MUCH rather live with a noisy, rambunctious, HAPPY boy then with someone who seems so bitter and angry.
Mummy to 2 – You are rude and clearly drunk or something posting 40 times on this! Unstable, much? Anyone who thinks the author of this post is “bad at discipline” clearly can’t read very well. She even mentions that the only reason she didn’t yell at him was because he was having a play date. And HELLO – this is a humor blog. I think you need to bring your sense of humor before you read.
Agreed! I’m an active mom of 5! 3 boys 2 girls. And I can guarantee none of them have been called an a-hole or threw a toy at another child’s head. EVER! “boys will be boys” is an excuse for poor patenting. Maybe a little discipline wouldn’t hurt this little guy. It’s not ok to act like an a-hole. He is small and easy to ignore his bad behavior now but what will the excuse be when he gets into real trouble later? He is a boy so it’s ok? I agree with you her life must suck. If I let my kids act like a-holes my life would suck too
Thank you for the comments. No, my life doesn’t suck in any way whatsoever. I believe you are missing the humor in the title of my blog. I am very blessed to have a wonderful life and wonderful children. I would appreciate if you could stop with that rude comment. Perhaps you need to realize there is a person on the other end of your comments and consider my feelings. I’m sure kindness and consideration are lessons you would all like to model for your children. I have bit my tongue and not responded to the DOZENS of posts from Mummy to 2 (which, I might add, she made in one hour, which was very unnerving) but I believe it’s time to comment, in defense of my son.
My son is an amazing little guy. He is respectful and disciplined and his manners have been commended by his teachers on multiple occasions. I made a joke about him throwing things at people’s heads as a 6-month-old BABY. A baby who clearly could not aim. My friend called him an a-hole because she was a new mom to one small, calm child and she had no frame of reference for what a normal, rambunctious (and yes, respectful) boy acts like. It would be like if I was a cat lady with all cats and I saw a puppy for the first time. I would be alarmed that the puppy was nothing like my cats.
I find it surprising that people would read this small 500-word post and extrapolate that I do not discipline my children because my son was overexcited on a playdate and jumped on the sofa for 2 seconds. That’s quite a leap to make. Of course I discipline my children. And I also teach them how to speak to others with kindness and consideration, whether in writing or in person.
The point of this post is that he is a rambunctious guy who does NOT hit his friends or bully other children. I said as much. The point of this post is that boys have wonderful energy that we as parents should celebrate. That all children are different and that we must view them as unique individuals. Nowhere in this post did I say “boys will be boys” I said “he’s all boy.” That’s my experience of my son, who is quite different from my daughter. Perhaps someone else has a daughter who is rambunctious and a quiet boy. This is just my experience.
Of course we don’t want our children of any gender to hurt themselves or others or be rude. But we do want our children to express their true nature and live happy, thriving, vibrant, well-disciplined lives. And we can start them on that path by modeling the life we want them to lead. Showing them how to treat others with respect and kindness, which I feel we all too often disregard under the anonymity of the internet. Would you speak to your friend or neighbor this way, ladies? Consider that before you comment. Not only here, but everywhere.
It could be that the play date mom is a total bitch. Who tells a mutual friend that the other kid is an a hole? And what kind of “friend” turns around and tells the mother of said perfectly normal little boy whatt the princess’ mom said?! Time to ditch both of them…they deserve each other.
My boys weren’t a-holes They were boys. OK, their senior years in HS they were a-holes, but since their younger sister was a PITA at ages 14-16…but they were always polite and weel-mannered when they were out & are amazing adults that I like.
You’re an a-hole for saying that. Everyone is different. Every parent scenario is too. I have experienced the whole crazy boy thing, and you know, I totally haven’t raised him any different to my daughter. So how the hell is that?! It’s not fair to say it’s a reflection of poor parenting. Not fair at all. In fact, take my kid, and the other craycray 4 year old boys out there and tell me, are they happy and going through their normal boystrous phase, or are we all shit parents?
Wow! I’m glad Deva responded, she is a wonderful mom, I love following her blog as well, and you can tell when you actually folow her that she has awesome kids. Have you seen her videos? Her kids are beautiful. I don’t have kids of my own, but I have little brothers. They are noisy active little devils, but also know how to be respectful and polite. Everyone at school is in love with their behaviour. My aunt (who is usually not tolerant at all with kids) took the youngest, who is four years old and has done much worse that what Deva describes in this article on a daily basis, and came back enamored with how he behaved. The way a boy plays, especially when there is another child over, especially if this other child is a girl, has nothing to do with how disciplined he is. And you can’t discipline him, or correct him until he actually does something wrong, we learn from our mistakes. Let’s all be kind to one another, there are lots of ways to express an opinion, or even give advice, without being rude or condescending. And an article of this lenght, or any article, is never enough to judge anybody.
I guess you named your blog well. If you child acts like you describes I bet your life really does SUCK!!!
Trolololololol =)
Loved the blog post.
I am a mother of three boys and have loved every minute of this wild ride!! Let them be who they are, and teach them respect and the joy of a hard days work and then unleash them on the world and into the hands of God.
GREAT MOMS DIG IN THE DIRT TOO!!
Best comment so far. And this coming from a secular mom.
Love it!!!!
I too have a 3 year old BOY, he is all boy in every sense of the word. He is loud, bossy, a dare-devil, he talks non stop, yet tender at the right times and so full of love it breaks my heart to say no to anything he asks for. Yes I too thought that parents needed to restrain their kids before we had him. He is the light and love of our hearts and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Here’s to all the Moms and Dads of little boys, may they always cause just enough mischief to keep you on your toes.
AMEN!
From a Mom of two boys and one girl and a gramma of five, couldn’t agree more!
🙂
I love it 🙂 I have 4 boys myself so I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about!!
So true! My first was a girl, then had a set of twin boys. It was like having a rug jerked out from under me over and over and over…
Deborah My kids were all active, rambunctious wonderful kids. I never had a “friend” say they were brats or “a hole”. They were all special needs. They grew up differently. They made mistakes and eventually learned from them. One more than the others. I love my kids unconditionally. Other people should think of that when it comes to their own children.
enjoy every minute of the jumping and running and moving! For soon, he will be a teenager. And he will only move when prodded with something long and pointy – like a stick! You’ll miss those days when you had to say, “slow down!” Instead, you’ll find yourself thinking things like, “should I go in his room and make sure he is still alive?” and “what IS that smell?” Hence the need for the prodding! LOL
and for all of those “perfect parents” with their “perfect children”, hahahaha – I would start sleeping with one eye open ~ nothing lasts forever muahhhhhahhhhh! 🙂
Hahahahahaha!!!!
Hahahaha! Sorry, can’t stop LMAO!
LOL, love it!
HA! Love it! As a mother if five ranging from 8 to 28, i wholeheartedly agree. Enjoy and love your little ones. Don’t be quick to make haughty judgements about other peoples’ children either, because just when you least expect it…..
Agreed!!. I am sorry for the parents who think there child is perfect….Think Again!!!. There is no such thing. The funny thing I know a lot of those mom’s on my street, and there children are at my house all the time… My house is the play house on my street!!. I am with these kids most of the time and there child is far from perfect….SORRY!!!. 🙂
I have three sons and have fostered 25 more. Boys are different from girls!! No doubt. All the talk about how they are the same is just false. There are sweet boys and rough little girls but deep down they are so very different. Viva la difference!
Agreed, Mimi! 🙂
Ha! Ha! I love this! I only have one and SHE is wild and crazy! We call her Tick Tick Boom! Why walk when you can run or slide across the floor? Really, the furniture in the house are not climbing apparatus! I have given serious thought to tying her to a chair for some peace and quiet.
Your friend is stupid! Some kids are high energy and rambunctious! That does not mean your kid is better than them or that you are a better parent!
I agree all I’ve ever known is boy! I grew up with 2 big brothers abd the only girl and now have TWO boys of my own. Who are loud and crazy guys who are trains screaming chew chew or dinosaurs yelling roar at each other we play with blocks abd love the out doors abd making mud pies I guess god knew what he was doing whether he gave me 2 crazy boys. Although I’m ready to have that peaceful princess in my home lol
My son, 17 y/o, still can’t sit that long, even when on the x-box sometimes.
I had my son first, and he is the same way too. a lot of parents look at him as wild too. To me that is just Brandon…lol. Then I had my daughter who is really good but is really spoiled and can be a diva and very Dramatic at everything!!. I love all your videos and now just found your blog that I am starting to read now!!. I can’t stand * judgy* Mom’s either. 🙂
Lol. Dont worry, my daughters 3 and shes a terror. Jumping on the beds, the sofas, doing headers down the steps cuz she wont take her time. She likes to throw things at people heads especially slow moving targets like her grandparents. Fly swatters are weapons she chases the dogs with. Wrestling is her preferred form of communication when shes not making animal sounds. Shes a handful and i wouldnt change her one bit.
Clue No. 1: this woman is NOT your friend. Your friends wouldn’t call a third party to discuss your child(ren) and disrespect them.
Clue No. 2: try having play dates with other little kids who have similar interests with Batman
Clue 3: it might help to have some structured play time as well as unstructured (outside) and break up the time hanging from the light fixtures with a snack or water guns (outside)
In all honesty, I have been that mom who smugly pushes the grocery cart with my quiet little girls in it. Little pink tutus and sparkle and sweet smiles. I would sadly walk past mothers dragging kicking and screaming little boys and think, awe. I’m sad for you. I went through years of compliments from friends who said, “how do you do it? Your girls are so well behaved!” And I would think- well, I guess that curse is going to go my sister because I was a well behaved kid and, therefore, I deserve kids exactly like I was! That was when I broke the cardinal rule of parenting: don’t get cocky. If you break that rule, it’s like your kids silently know it. Like sharks can sense blood in the water, children, even well-behaved little princesses, can smell it. They will give you the pity look, as if to say, you poor woman. The balance of power must be restored in our favor. There are more of us than there are of you, you see, and we are capable of unification for the right cause. 🙂 Puberty hit, and then came the lying. The sneaking. The right in your face disrespect. The constant questions of why to the point that you become your mother and throw out that, “because I said so!” Gone are the lovely pink tutus because they don’t say Hollister on them. Lullabies are gone and angry urban rock music has arrived. No more sweet little dialogue between mommy and her little girl, because her little girls ears constantly have headphones in them. Terrible 2’s? No. Terrible Tweens! Now the mommies of rambunctious little boys are watching my daughter roll her eyes at me at the grocery store, and let me assure you, they have the last laugh. I would rather be dragging a little boy down from climbing the shelves on aisle three than deal with my daughter on her period.
My older son is the same way. Do they eventually grow out of this type of behavior? I am embarrassed to have people over because of the way he acts.
Well i have not one but two boys so… should I continue?
Anyway, with friends like that who needs enemies?
Don t you think that life would be so much easier if we were only surrounded by tolerant people?
Amen, Diffeerente!
You will note that she admitted to being one of “those moms” who judged others, herself! Nobody is immune to it. It’s a life experience thing. We all had theories of how we would rear our children BEFORE they arrived! But it doesn’t take long for the theories to be shot down and you revert to just being happy to keep your kid safe, healthy and happy!
Yes, if we don’t grow and learn, we’re in trouble 🙂
OMG! Yes. I was a judgy parentless woman, until my son came along. The looks I get sometimes or the feeling that we are recieving constant judgment gets to me sometimes. My son has taught me, that everything I thought I knew and wanted so much, were my own judgments, and they went right out the window. I do get told that when not in my presense he is very polite and well mannered, for which I’m thankful. My child is corrected and is expected to behave well. That isn’t always the case. And the sass he has; oh the toddler sass. I live for the days when he tells me I make his heart happy or a bedtime snuggle or a heartfelt hug.
Yes and yes. I have 3. Most of my friends have girls. I laugh at them. Often. Im pregnant, most likely with boy #4. Im hoping for a boy!
Lauren you have to come back and let us know what you had!!!
Hey, ditto everything!! 😀 Good luck with whichever you get!
Here’s a surprise for everyone. I have 3 boys and 1 girl. Guess who’s the wild and crazy a%%hole? My daughter!! Sure my boys wrestle and run around, and swing things around. My daughter though has no sense of fear, unless it’s blood. She still hasn’t made the connection though that if you act like a hurricane, spilling ones own blood will happen. She gets her brothers to join in on all the action, draws on walls, dumps acrylic paints all around my house (including painting her baby brother) and climbs every available surface. She is the one who experiences getting yelled at and the most times out.
So great for your friend and her “perfect” daughter. Love my daughter, but I’m glad I only have one of her. Psst, here’s another secret for your friends who look at your son sideways, while puberty is a trial for a mom with boys, puberty with girls is a right out B&*(h!
love the post 😀
Ha! Love it L.A.C.E.! Yes, there are some wild girls out there as well. Your daughter sounds delightfully naughty! LOL
Um, I don’t know about delightfully naughty. But she keeps me on my toes. And no I don’t call my children a-holes, or other names. I was just making a point in conjunction with what your “friend” wrote. I do however call her my “kamikaze” or my “hurricane”. She’s a force to be reckoned and I wouldn’t want it any other way 😀
Love it! I believe that being a force to be reckoned with will serve a child very well when he or she grows up!
I had 2 boys first and then a girl…like L.A.C.E…guess who’s my crazy one, lol!! I tell people all the time, I had 2 rather shy, quiet boys (at least in public, at home it’s a different story) it’s my girl who has no fear and was climbing kitchen cabinets before she could even walk!
I have one of these precious wild GALs too. Moms of both genders sneer at us. She is supposed to be calm and girly. Sure she can sit solo with a loom for hours but she is the rambunctious a@* hole too. Spirited and willful. I love her and wouldn’t want her any other way (most days;)
Love it! We have to keep their spirits alive, these crazy kids!
I too have 3 boys and my youngest is a girl. She is just as crazy as the boys! Lol! My 2 older boys are pretty calm. My youngest son has ADD & ODD so hes very active and she seems to be following suite. Other parents look at us like we’re crazy or something. They are children, they shouldnt be expected to act perfect. Sheesh! Theyre just children! 🙂 feels good to know there are other Mothers who understand. I love this blog!
Thank you Tara!
I have 2 boys and a girl who is in the middle. My oldest (Asperger’s, ODD, SPD) could sit for hours and entertain himself without getting into trouble, he is a rule follower and he never takes chances. My daughter on the other hand could not be left alone in a room for 2 seconds. I had to call poison control so many times because everything she touched went into her mouth. She had no concept of danger and would jump off anything without looking. Then my youngest son (ASD,SPD,OCD,ODD) was born…..and life as we know it changed forever. He never….NEVER…..stops moving, not even in his sleep. He is my life sucker. My life is so blessed because he is in it but he sucks out all the energy like a vacuum sealer. When he finally grows up, I will look vacuum packed, wrinkled, and drawn, but what an adventure it will have been!
Truer words were never spoken. Have a little boy- pay now; have a little girl- you will definitely pay later. My son is 15, and his life is drama free. Deva, call that mom in 10 years!
🙂
I’ve got two boys and two girls and have other friends with both, including one with boy/girl twins. I’ve spent enough time with compliant, quite boys and wild girls to not buy the OP’s premise. Some boys are like that, some girls are like that, some boys are mellow and some girls are mellow. That’s not even getting into the whole gender identity issue!
As a mom of 6 (4 boys &2 girls) I can so relate! Boys are wild and crazy. Girls are a different kind of crazy. They need mite attention and they get catty. They love revenge, and will seek it out in the worst way.
My husband wants more, and I told him no way. 4 boys is enough for me. It is out of fear of a 5th boy that I have glued my legs shut. If the pattern of boy, boy,girl,boy ,boy,girl is truely a continuing pattern I would definitely have a boy. I love my boys,but lord help me they are a handful.
I love auto correct. Mite is actually more.
I’ve gotten in so much trouble with autocorrect, Sarah 🙂 Thanks for your comment. Your house sounds BUSY!
My dramatic, loud, attention craving tween is a boy!
I just want to say anyone that calls a child an a-hole obviously has issues!!! I wonder what she calls her own kids behind closed doors!! WTF??
Hear, hear Cassandra!
Well, listen…I hope they are not calling their children a%@holes to their faces. I doubt that they are. Sometimes, I describe my darling, CRAZY two boys as sh*&heads….to myself. When I speak to them, I am effervescent with words of love, telling them how smart, funny, compassionate people they are. How lucky I am that they are in my lives. Yes, I lose my cool, like any parent, but 80% of the time, I am damn good mother.
I remember my cousin telling me how she would silently say to herself, “I hate you” to her children, after a tough day. Pre-children, I was horrified by this…but post-children, I get it. Your children can be sh*&heads, but they are incredible sources of joy that I wouldn’t trade for the world. You just need to let off some steam sometimes. Better to mouth the words–to yourself, then to say it to them, or even worse, physically take it out on them.
Ease up on the judgments—“obviously had issues”…WHO DOESN’T? They all manifest in different ways. Look in the mirror before you start writing about someone’s issues.
Amen. Kids can be a$$holes and admitting that doesn’t make anyone a bad parent or mean they have “issues”. I mutter all sorts of delightfully terrible things to myself at the end of the day when I’m scrubbing the carpet or fixing whatever he’s broken. I don’t say such things to his face and I certainly don’t love him any less than you love your son, Cassandra.
PS Deva, it’s “hear,hear”.
Blagh! Fixed it 🙂 Thanks Sarah! I totally agree with you. Of course we don’t call our children names to their faces! But we all have to admit kids can be a-holes. Like I said above, who can’t be?!! 🙂 And I love the image of you muttering as you clean the carpet! LOL
I was told that during times of stress, I should lean on the counter and through gritted teeth, say over and over, “Children are a gift from God, Children are a gift from God, etc.” It does help.
If he behaved alike and a*hole then what??? Sounds like she was warning the mutual friend away from a terrible playmate. Trying to keep both of their kids in safe and sane places. If the shoe fits?? Note also she did not say it to the child but to another adult.
And if you do allow him to jump on the furniture with out proper and timely reprimand in front of your guest and let him slide down slides head first. I too as a parent would be warning my friends to stay away from play dates with him. These are both things you mentioned in your own post by the way. Makes on wonder what things you did not share, throwing toys, hitting, biting???
Mummy to 2,
I’m sure you are perfect out in public as well as behind closed doors. You’re children are probably perfect too. I just hope you don’t shield your children from children who may have ‘bad days’ or may be a little different from them. Because childhood is a smaller playing field to “real life” and if your children don’t interact with all types of children how will they grow up to be part of a community of adults who are not as perfect as they are. Look in the mirror and stop being judgmental.
You are spot on.
I read through and had the same reaction. I have a son with adhd and while he wAs extremely active there was a limit to what i would allow before he earned a reprimand or before there was some consequence to his behavior. I tried to match his play dates with like minded kids and do them somewhere outside etc so they had an outlet to run etc.
Never did he think jumping on furniture was acceptable and at no time was biting or hitting anyone including a sibling even remotely acceptable. I would have considered that to be a very serious warning that he was not just a rambunctios boy but a child with some unresolved aggression.
I f i was the other mother i may not have shared my opinion with a mutual friend but may have thought this or shared with a complete neutral like a sister. If this comment is coming from someone who you otherwise respect maybe look at what your son might be missing. You did mention he was younger and sounds lime he doesnt get that many play dates. I put my son in as many sports as i could find and think its a great outlet for kids who spend too much time at home these days and also and equally important, they learn social boundaries from coaches and one another. Good luck
i don’t have a problem with my Asperger’s daughter jumping on the furniture. beats jumping out the window.
I’ve been reading these posts by you, and WOW.. Your something else.. First of all, it doesn’t matter if a mother lets her son jump on the couch.. That’s her own personal preference. And are you kidding me, what kid DOESNT slide down the slide head first.. I am a mother of 4. I have 3 girls and 1 boy. 3 of whom are triplets.. If these are the things that worry you most, then you have your priorities seriously upside down.. Like mama always said, “if you don’t have anything nice to say then keep your mouth shut!”
This is directed to mummy of 2
I remember jumping of the couch as kids… my brother and I often pretended the couch was a mountain and we were mountain climbers and then we would pretend to turn into a superheroes and jump off the couch and run around, which we viewed as flying off and saving people. My brother still does a little superhero work but on the technology side of things and I raise two couch-mountain climbers who I hope will inherit our sense of adventure, our ability to climb life’s mountains, our imagination, and most of all the friendship we shared. Couch-jumping can be a beautiful thing.
When I had 2, I had a no jumping on the furniture rule. And a no pulling the cushions off the couch rule. Somewhere along the way I relaxed and remembered all the joy of leaping from coffee table to couch as a child, and the living room floor as a sea of molten lava as we leapt from cushion to cushion across the room.
So, my furniture gets a little beat up. There are worse things in the world.
Mommy to 2. I have never seen a child who at some point hasn’t had a meltdown and throws something, hit their parent or even bit their parent or siblings. It happens. It’s completely normal. And sliding down slides head first, jumping on couches? Totally normal too! I did it all the time as a kid! What kills me is you seem to think you are the perfect mother with perfect kids and that’s just not true. I know people like you. The kids were well behaved and sheltered and it turned them into the people I couldn’t stand in school. No life experience. Kids will be kids. Her son just sounds like every other kid to me.
Sad that you don’t see the joy in sliding down slides headfirst. Get over yourself.
mummy to 2,
Pull the stick out of your rear first of all because being a judgmental jackwagon never helped anyone! ALL 3 of my kids have done all of those things its called BEING A KID!!! Thats what they do, thats what we ALL did at that age and yes even you! I prefer my children to have play dates with kids they can be themselves around, kids NEED to be kids! If you dont like the blog then unsubscribe and stay off! I think the “I’m too perfect for my panties” blog is looking for more subscribers! I, however, appreciate and need this kind of honesty and love for your kids!! I also must say to Deva I admire your restraint and handling of the situation with the other mother cause I’d have called her and ripped her a new ‘a-hole’! LOL You even tried to understand her side of it – Gotta admire that! For me its my third – my daughter who is most like this but I LOVE her spirit and if ANYONE tried to break it I would quickly squash them!!! LOL 😉 Well done mom keep up the good work and dont forget to share with those of us who DO understand! 🙂
I was wondering when someone was going to hit that nail on the head.
I get this my son was 6 months old when we went to Starbucks for coffee with a couple of friends who both had little girls of the same age who sat happily on their mummy’s knees while my son wriggled squirmed and crawled everywhere and this old man came over to me and asked me if I thought my son may have ADHD! What?!? No he’s a boy!
EXACTLY!! My son hasn’t sat still since the day he could crawl. He even thrashes in his sleep!
My son is 8 and he has never stayed still since he was conceived, Lol. The way I know he is ill is if he lies on the couch , He doesn’t stay still in his sleep.
Yes! I know when my son is sick because it’s the only time he stands still.
Halle fricking lujah!
🙂
I have 4 boys my friend has 5 girls and I can honestly say her girls are wilder than my boys when they all get together LOL!!
That’s a LOT of kids in one play date 🙂
This reminds me of the parental/pint-sized version of some of the work of Alison Armstrong in her “Understanding Men, Celebrating Women” workshops. Taking the gender essentialism with a grain of salt, one of the best lightbulbs I got from her class was that women often look at men and they see their behavior as that of a *dysfunctional woman* (i.e. “Why didn’t he notice X, Y, Z background social dynamics going on at that party?” “Why can’t he multitask like I do?” etc.). Men often suffer from the reverse — seeing women as malfunctioning, irrational men (i.e. “Why are we talking about this AGAIN? I thought we solved it a month ago.” “Why is she distracting me with 50 new pieces of information while I am trying to get this one thing done?” etc.). In your defense of boys, you remind us of what we miss when we judge little boys as “dysfunctional” girls. And, as some of your readers note in their posts above, you remind us of what we miss when we judge children according to gendered stereotypes!
Thanks for sharing this! Fantastic info!
This sounds enlightening!!! I think I may look up Allison Armstrong.
Love it! I found my 18 month old (now 13 yr old) on the fridge as well as on the table… He bit his sister and almost made me crazy…. He’s super smart and I wouldn’t change a thing about him. Everyone is different!
hah! My daughter made it to the top of the fridge once too. Oy.
LOL you guys!!!! My kids have never made it to the top of the fridge … YET!
My son is soon going to be 42. he was a handful and I wasn’t old enough or smart enough to understand he was super smart and questioned everything. I did the best I could and when the mothers of girls looked at us like we both were deficient I wondered what I was doing wrong.
He is such a good father, a grown man that I’m proud to call my son.
Hang in there moms of sons, do the best you can, love them to pieces and watch them grow into super adults.
Cathy thank you so much for this comment! I hope my son grows into a man as wonderful as your son sounds!
Thank you for the encouragement.
My kids were actually the opposite, My girl was wild and crazy and got me many negative comments (from my family – my friends were all cool though, lol!). My son was a mellow little sweetheart 🙂
Now they are both much older. My boy is still the sensitive one but my girl is in her teens and has mellowed into such a fantastically awesome teen girl, I’m in awe 🙂
But whatever the gender, I totally get it. My sister made comments about my daughter and how I should get her to behave better. Then she finally had kids of her own. Now when her young son throws himself on a the floor with a tantrum or pushes his cousin to the ground, it’s hard not to point and laugh, lol!
Gotta love the parental commentary from childless people, right? My brother does that all the time too. I’m like, “Just wait, buddy. You’ll see!”
As a mother and teacher I definately understand how children can be very different and that’s a great thing. However even for a rambunctious child there should be discipline and behavioral expectations. As parents it’s our job to teach our chidren when it’s ok to be wild and crazy and when it is not. As much as we would love for our children to be able to be “themselves” in every situation society doesn’t work that way. As a parent I teach my children that while it’s ok to run, jump, and be loud and obnoxious at home. They are not to jump on other people’s couches, run around the doctor’s waiting room, or fight with each other at a restaurant. That’s simply a safety and respect issue. As a teacher I have seen many children have great difficulty learning and accepting these rules when they have never been reinforced at home. I think that’s a huge disservice to the child.
YES! Totally agree, although I am not the best at discipline I will admit. Luckily (or maybe not so luckily for me) my son is a total angel in school and saves all his demon child behavior for me!
Chidren behave for those who have high and consistent behavior expectations for them. Your child not be having at school is more of a sign of disregard and disrespect to your rules than good luck.
That is not always the case. A lot of children behave better away from home because they don’t feel comfortable enough in those settings to be wild, but home is the safe place, where they can be wild and get their wiggles out. Once again a stab at Deva’s parenting, you are extrapolating a whole parenting critique from one blog post and your own theories on parenting. Unless you live in her house and walk in here shoes, you have no idea of how to parent her children. It sounds to me like she is doing a great job.
Thank you for posting this, Lydia. Good behavior expectations need to be reinforced at home and parents who think it’s ok for children to behave this way at home or in another environment are doing a disservice to their child. Kids should be all our to have fun as that is often how they learn and grow. Kids will be loud, messy, and sometimes innapropriate. However, there is a time and place for that behavior and should not be the norm for a child. My children were taught to respect their environment and those around them. It is one of the most important lesson to teach and should not be overlooked.
YOU said it PERFECTLY!!!!! Consistent expectations and enforced consequences will make our life so much easier. What you allow is what you will get more of. (trust me I regret some of the lax discipline with my now grown kids)
My 3 year old boy is shining with pride that I let him jump off our couch to show us his new ninja moves. Everyone parent and every child is different. That’s what makes the world so amazing and diverse. You two need to get over yourselves.
I have 3 girls.. my youngest is 22 months.. she is CRAZY! She climbs on the TV stand, jumps off the couch, climbs on the table, jumps on the bed…. Man I guess I’m a horrible parent for letting her do these things! She loves it laughs so hard. I love your posts. Kids will be kids. Let your kids be free, but also know their limits. Some of these posts… perfect people… gah!
Yes, the world is made of all different folks and we must be tolerant and kind! Bet your son has some mean ninja moves 🙂
Amen to everything you’ve said, Danielle. I read this post, thinking the same as you, and then to my horror, all the comments were lauding this post, congratulating her for letting her “kid be a kid” blah blah.
I work with toddlers at a church. Boy and girls, mostly boys. Obviously some of them are more rambunctious than the girls who (mostly) prefer to play dolls or look through books. However, they *behave* when they are in my classroom, because they know I and my assistant *expect* it. Sure there is the occasional outburst/bad day, but overall, we have obedient children who play within the boundaries allotted them. We let them go outside (weather permitting) to blow off steam/energy and act “wild”, but certain activities are never permitted (hitting, biting, jumping off high things (safety issues, obviously)). However, as soon as their parents come get them and I finally make my way to the lobby, they are all running around like crazy, because their parents are barely paying attention to them, much less disciplining them for knocking over tables, jumping off lobby furniture, or literally running in huge circles and nearly barreling into the elderly. It infuriates me.
Oh and also, as if I need to qualify myself, but according to some other commenters, since “non-parents” don’t get to make comments about obnoxious children’s behavior, I felt this way before I had my children, as well as three years into having them.
I don’t care if you let your kid jump off the couch or on the bed at home (as long as it is safe)- that’s really not a big deal I suppose. But for another parent to go so far as to call the child an a-hole, it makes me seriously wonder if there wasn’t more to the story, bc that’s a pretty extreme reaction. I suppose she could just be very judgmental, but if she’s your friend, wouldn’t you have known that going in to it? Why would this be surprising, much less worth writing a blog over? If you feel the need to justify your child’s behavior, you might want to consider why.
See, I too worked with children for years before having my own in both business settings and as a nanny. I genuinely loved all these children but often thought I would do a better job if I was this kids mom. And then I had kids. Two, back-to-back, unplanned. I wasn’t being irresponsible, my husband and I had been married for over a year and people were expecting us to have kids soon, but we wanted to finish school and travel and save money so I was on birth control but low and behold, kid one followed by kid two. We were broke, we were young, it was hard. And then we had more and more challenges and I was overwhelmed. Now my kids are three and four and I am told all the time how sweet my kids are or how well behaved my kids are by most people but they do have their moments and those moments happen much more often at home than out in public. It’s not lack of respect, it’s that they are more comfortable at home and because they are home the majority of the time so just percentage wise it makes sense, plus I am not always on my best behavior either as we all have rough days so sometimes yes I have moments of inconsistency. But it doesn’t make me a bad mom. It just makes me a mom. I learned something I didn’t understand before when I judged these other moms: when you are around your kids 24/7 you see the best and worst of them and they see the best and worst of you and when either party is in a “worst” moment it will be completely exhausting. The things I needed most as a young mom and the things that would be helpful everyday are encouragement and a listening ear. There are moms who have taken their own life because of lack of these two things. I have dealt with the pain of that in my own life. If you want to correct the mommies of the world and be judgmental and negative, please choose to do so somewhere other than mommy blogs. Most of us just need to get our thoughts and feelings out and could use a little encouragement.
Did you even read Lydia’s comment? She said she taught them that it was OK for her own children to be wild and rambunctious in their own home. She taught them that different rules apply when out or at another’s home. She did not say she made them be little perfect Stepford children at home as well. I grew up in a home where that was the rule – be a heathen at home if you want but shape up outside it. And I did. Never even had detention or a parking ticket, went to college on a full academic scholarship, and work in a legal environment where laws and rules are all I hear all day long. Have no issues with authority and had no issues in school because my home life was freer.
I have a very laidback boy in contrast to his Type A parents and I have not had this experience the author did, but I think anyone who calls another friend and calls someone’s child an asshole is one. There would not only be no more playdates; there would be no more anything with that person. Frankly, I would not want to teach my child *that* kind of behavior is OK.
I feel like you were writing about my house. Just this morning my 4 year old son was jumping, dancing and screeching in front of his 5 month old sisters – his way of “entertaining” them. He NEVER stops.
So cute – I love that he tries to entertain them!
I have two sons and all I can say is this: PREACH IT, SISTER!!!!
Amen, Mama! Thanks 🙂
I laughed so hard. I had 2 boys and then a girl. What’s funny is she will dress up as Snow White, grab a Nerf sword and bash her brothers, cracks me up. My middle one is the one who keeps us on our toes, sliding head first upside down down the stairs, leaping off the staircase from the middle. He too was a climber and smacker and thrower as a babe and is has not changed. He’s 10 and I got him into trampoline and tumbling so it would be okay to do flips and handsprings all over (and learn to do it right) without (hopefully) hurting himself or someone else. He loves it and it gets his energy out. Why are people so dang judgmental anyways? Kids are kids, not some showpiece you pull out of a purse to show off. Loved your post!
Thanks, Stacy! OMG the image of your daughter dressed like a princess bashing her brothers to pieces is HILARIOUS!
Amazing you find one child hitting another “hilarious” like i said in my earlier post What about his behavior on this play date did you NOT tell about!
Stop trolling, Mummy nobody appreciates it. Is it possible to block her ^ ^
Why block her, does the truth hurt?
b/c that’s what brothers and sisters DO!
You are a bully. You are hiding behind the cover of your computer screen saying mean things. Would you say these things to a person’s face?? If so, be careful, you might get punched. What you are doing is not much different from hitting. You are hurting people.
Today my 16 month old darling daughter climbed to the top of the slide going up. Once she reached the top, she lay flat and slid back down on her tummy. She did the about 5-10 times in a row.
Her playmate, an almost 17 month old little boy sat sedately at the top of the jungle gym safely within his mom’s reach.
Boys don’t have a monopoly on being rowdy. I’ll bet that if he had been sweet and quiey, she would have had something to say about that too.
Hallelujah! Having one of each, I am so tired of these comparisons. Gender is not an excuse for letting your kids run amok, and it sure as heck doesn’t make it cute.
Agreed on both counts, ladies!
VERY VERY true! Not cute, not “hilarious”(to quote you).
Take a close look at how you reply Deva we are reading it and reading between the lines of what you find acceptable or cute. How can you even blog about things that you obviously do SOOO wrong. no wonder this friend warned your mutual friend about your son and your home. .
Mummy to 2- enough already!!!
We know your OPINION now…..
Perhaps you are Devas “friend”???
I bet you wouldn’t say this crap if we were sitting around drinking coffee together face to face…….
You are rude and I take offense…..but then you are probably just one of those people trolling looking to get people “commenting”/”upset” – if that’s the case – “get a life and go on out and make some friends…..”
Finally the posts are at 1am…. Perhaps it’s the “wine” talking….and if so…. You should stop drinking….lol
Deva- keep on keepin on!!!!
Ps I hear you get relief from boys in the teen years….”girl” teen years are tumultuous ! Lol
Do you try to be a witch mummy of 2? I’m scrolling, giggling at others responses and you’re sitting here saying its wrong for your children to play together. Are your kids not aloud nerf guns or swords? How are they supposed to have fun? As a mother of 5 and with two being over 18, I can tell you that none of them are ”distureb’. Parents like you sicken me. Per your child grow up like a child! Not a reborn doll. Let them act their age. Le them dress up and play with each other. Scraped knees aren’t the end of the world
“mummy” to 2 – explains it all: your brains have been pulled out through your nostrils and is sitting with your heart in a jar by the door.
go away.
It’s sad people only think this can be boys. My just turned 3 daughter is everything little girl but oh man this describes her to a T. Climb everything and superman leap off it. Throw everything and anything. Constantly running, jumping and bouncing off the walls. She can’t even sit through a 15min children’s cartoon show!
Yes, I agree. Girls can be crazy too. Mine just happens to be calm while my son is non-stop action!
As a mom of an (almost) 5 year old boy and a 14 month old girl, this article makes me want to give you a giant hug! MY CRAZY SON ISNT THE ONLY ONE!! He never stops. Just to sleep, but other than that he goes full throddle all day every day. He jumps all over the furniture. He taught himself to break dance. Hell he was full blown running at 9 months!! He is CRAZY.
My daughter? Super mellow. Just started walking the other day, will sit and just hang out for a while at a time…it is remarkable the differences between them!
But each one of my silly kids are just so lovable and unique in their own right.
Gotta love people that feel the need to make you feel inferior. If you love your kids and do the best YOU can that’s all that matters.
All hail the saints that are moms of crazy boys!!
Thanks Sarbear! Yes, all hail moms of crazy kids everywhere 🙂
Except I’d venture to guess that that has more to do with your children’s personalities than their gender!
I have one who is easy going, very independent, but has a hell on wheels personality. She walked just before 10 months and never looked back. She’s 5 now, and jumps, climbs, swims, and bikes like she has no fear. She calls herself a “crazy” kid and makes friends wherever she goes. We joke that she “bounces” because she’s the only kid I’ve ever met who ended a camping trip with two scrapped and bloody knees and a black eye while barely shedding a tear!
And then I have one who is shy, sensitive, and pretty cautious about new things….and likely to belt you over the head if you cross her! She’s quick to cry and need reassurance, but she only prefers “boy” clothes and toys, and her two best friends are boys. She’s very rough and tumble and aggressive in the same way that many assume only boys are.
It’s unfair that we keep making these comparisons about what a “boy” is like and what a “girl” is like. Yes, some behavior is defined by our biological sex and is hormone driven, but a lot of it is personality and parenting. We have to stop telling girls and boys , whether implicitly or by assumption, what girls are like, and what boys are like, and let them define themselves!
So. You were judgy about other people’s boys before you had one.
Now you’re judgy about how judgy other people are even though you know exactly what it’s like to not be armed with the the knowledge you now have?
Your post wasn’t horrible, but I’m baffled by your “Duh! He’s a little boy! You should know that’s how this is!” attitude when you remember a time of not knowing yourself.
YOU are the person who needs to be more understanding of the people around you.
Thank you for your comment. I write with a bit of a cheeky sense of humor, so please don’t take me too seriously. But yes, I learned and evolved and try to live my life without judgement as I hope we all do.
errrrrr…. so ppl aren’t allowed to learn and grow? they’re not allowed to share the moments in life when they were forced to eat crow?
so tell me: what’s it like to be a binary personality where everything is set in stone never to be altered?
I grew up with one older sister, and had a girl first…a calm, easy, never had a tantrum, rule-following curly-headed, sweet girl. Two boys later, and sometimes that girl and I just sit there looking at each other dumbfounded as to what in the world is WRONG with those boys?! My husband assures me they are norma l;) Incidentally, my youngest has that swirly front of the head cowlick, just like your little guy.
Jenn! That cowlick stresses me out. I can just see him as a teenager in front of the mirror hating life because of that cowlick 🙂
Look out ladies… A Dad speaking….
Deva, I LOVE your videos! They’re hysterical, they’re TONGUE IN CHEEK … (the fact that your kids are dancing WITH you shows the love and encouragement of their talents as well!!) There is other comedy out there that I can’t believe was printed (Go the F%^& to sleep) AND YET… there are those times which we admit we either want to say or even under our breath do say it…BUT NOT OUT LOUD BECAUSE THAT’S THE FIRST WORK THEY’LL PICK UP ON!!! My (only child) daughter was my princess, she was just as much tomboy as she was girlygirl! (My wife understood the girly dance stuff, since she and her sister were dancers, but blames the crazy stuff on me.) My girl is now married, and a dance teacher who passes on her love of dance/princess stuff to her students …. and has her CCW permit, just nailed a 10pt buck during hunting season, and uses either a rifle, or bow and arrow…and encourages girls AND boys to dance, to be the best they can be at who they are ( YEAH, I’M A PROUD DAD!!!) Kids are people with their own personalities! We do the best we can to teach them manners and civility (without killing them or ourselves in the process) and then send them out to do better than we did… After all, God’s first kids were Adam & Eve… and look where that got us! LOL By the way, I had the crazy cow lick, by the time I was a teen it went to almost curly waves… all the girls loved it…. KEEP PRODUCING FUNNY VIDEOS…(haters gonna hate, hate, hate…) I envy your talent!!!
I had three girls then my son came along! Complete culture shock for this mom!!! Jumping, running, falling hard with the “i’m okay” yell back. Boys are different, wild and rambunctious! But I wouldn’t change it for anything! All my girls were Daddy’s girls. My son in a momma’s boy, no shame there. He cuddles on the couch with me and tells me how beautiful I am and how much he loves me. What more could any mom ask for? I’m not saying that he never drives me crazy… but even girls can do that….
Aw, my son gives the best cuddles too. The best!
this is my child… except… my child is a GIRL. just. like. your. son. 2 nights ago she listed off all the stuff she wants to do when she grows up: rock climbing, parachuting, hang gliding but mostly AMERICAN NINJA WARRIORS. do not buy her a doll. do not buy her nail polish. do not buy her a copy of the little house books. buy her a glittery teal jumpsuit and a motorbike. or a chainsaw. or a trampoline. or a motorbike that she can drive on a trampoline while waving around a chainsaw.
I love that she knows who she is! Love it!
My “BOYS” are now 43 & 40! They haven’t changed one bit from when they were toddlers!!! Still onery, loud, rough and tumble, best friends, joksters,dirty at times[the greasy, muddy kind] fun loving, loving, kind, compassionate, gentle, etc. and I would NOT have them any other way. They are the best Christian,led by the spirit of God, husbands and fathers I could ever hope for!! The Blessings from them never end!!! So let people talk…..They do NOT know what they are missing!!!!
Aw, how awesome is that, Cindy!!!!! Love hearing from the moms of adult “boys.”
I love this post! I didn’t read most of the comments, there are so many and I do have some young running around here. I love the fact that each of my kids are different, and that they can have a play date with kids that are even more diverse. My 4 year old daughter’s favorite friend is a boy who sounds just like your son. It’s too bad that as adults we sometimes forget how to have FUN. I think that’s what I love most about having little ones. They make me remember how fun life is.
Yes! Kids remind us to live in the moment and enjoy life. A lesson we all need to remember!!
This is course for some girls too. I have a 9 year old son and a 5 year old girl — My son was sweet, kind, well mannered, and I was that mom who was looking at others children thinking — wow their child is out of control — Then my girl came along — She is my rambunctious one — I dont think the gender is the issue here — Some children are different — Whether its a boy or girl or first or second child and so on. Its the matter of different personalities —
Agree! It can be either gender. I wonder if it is the 2nd child thing … hmmmmm
Wow as a parent of 2 kids one of which has a son of her own. And a preschool teacher and specialist in early childhood education there are some serious behavior issues here being discussed. Children of any gender can be taught to behave and that things like climbing the fidge is NOT acceptable behavior. Neither is sliding down slides head first this is about safety of your kids not “oh they are just rambunctious” (or do you want them to break there neck}I am a nurse too!. Being allowed to hit others with swords nerf or not is incredible parenting or lack there of. This is all just mind blowing no wonder there are so many problem students in schools of both genders. They are not taught proper behavior at home. You can run a jump and be rough outside not in the house. There is proper behavior for when you have a guest in your home especially a female guest. WOW is all I can say after reading this. Just be prepared to be hearing from headmasters and principles later in life. (if not juvenile authorities). Now i better understand why teens now days think things like car surfing are OK. ( teen in our county was killed recently doing it) Or there are so many teens who think trying drugs is ok too. Mom never told me doing stupid dangerous things was wrong!
I think you need to reread your child development books….
That’s just silly. Nobody said they ALLOWED their kids to climb on the fridge. These are young kids who don’t know better testing their abilities with no sense or judgement whatsoever. All my 2yo sees is a confiscated toy she wants and her little busy brain whirs into high gear to GET IT.
Sliding down a slide headfirst isn’t the end of the world, either. Are they allowed to do it on the park slides that are 12-14 ft high, no. Are they allowed on the 5 ft ones at the neighborhood park? Sure. They’re not steep, not high, and they have a long rest section at the end. The likelihood of injury is minuscule and the feeling the kids from being a little daring is worth it.
Heck, Nerf swords are designed for older kids to play at sword fighting without major injury. So, it’s not so odd that a 2-3yo will pick up on what it’s meant for and imitate older siblings. The dichotomy of a kid wielding a sword while wearing a dress IS amusing. At 3. At 13, it’s reasonable to expect more mature social behaviour.
And, I’m sorry…WHY is a female guest inherently different from a male guest? Talk about perpetuating gender stereotypes.
Good grief. Lighten up…your kids probably got into a whole lot more trouble than you know about once they escaped your rigid oversight.
Actually, I think a bit of risky behaviour in toddlers should be encouraged. Yes, I encourage my children when they were younger to climb a tree and if they wanted to slide down head first I just made sure I was there to catch them. What did my children learn? That everything has a risk and how to weigh up that risk. Yes, climbing the tree will be fun, but how do you get down. True you may fall, you may break an arm, but I preferred they learnt that risk may have painful outcomes long beer they car surfed as you mention. Or before they go on schoolies or spring break as you call it, and after getting drunk, attempt something stupid. Are honey going to be immune from this, probably not, but all we can do as parents is teach the best we can, that every action has a risk or a consequence and how to evaluate that scenario.
Everyone parents differently, why can’t we support each other’s choices more and appreciate the diversity of adults it brings.
Mommyof2 – Wow! You’re a preschool teacher and a “specialist” in early childhood education? Why don’t you leave the “psycho analysis” and “behavorial study” of this mother and her kids to those that are actually “specialists” in those fields. The rest of us Mommies, which don’t take ourselves so seriously, will enjoy reading her blog and seeing the similarities that Motherhood brings into our lives. From a mother of a sword fighting, couch jumping, ball throwing, head first slider, always says please & thank you, articulate, funny, sweet, cuddly little boy.
I never trust people who go around in blogs leaving nasty comments, and then toss out their supposed credentials trying to prove they know what they’re talking about and their knowledge is far superior than anyone else’s, particularly the blog writer. You’re not a specialist in anything other than telling other people what they’re doing wrong in their parenting based on what YOU THINK they should be doing. You’re probably a helicopter mom who doesn’t let her children do anything even remotely dangerous. Do you let them brush their teeth by themselves? Because, you know, they could choke themselves with the brush.
Stop being such a nasty know it all and realize you can’t possibly determine the kind of parent someone is by a blog entry, or an entire blog. You get little snippets, that’s all. Nowhere near enough to determine the kind of parent someone is. And even if you could, there is no rule book for parenting. There is nothing that says you MUST PARENT like everyone else, or that YOU MUST discipline your child this way or that way. *Your way* probably isn’t that great, so back off. Back off, grow up, and learn how to socialize effectively and positively.
I think it has 2 do with the 2nd child! haha I have 3 girls but my oldest is my step daughter so my baby is really my 2nd… and she is wild and fun and I wouldn’t change a thing about her.
I am sorry you had to deal with this. I know this happens. I have three boys (10, 8, & 4) and a girl (almost 2) and have my own stories of playdates where my boys were “boys” and the parents of girls were turned off by us. My pool of friends have changed a lot because of the gender of our kids. I seemed to be attracted to mamas with all girls and our playdates just didnt’ seem to work.
Yeah, that’s a tough one, Jenny. It does seem your kids somehow determine your friends. My son is always surrounded by girls because my friends are all moms of my daughter’s girlfriends. I hope to get him more dudes to hang out with!
My son’s kindergarten teacher was like one of THOSE moms. Fortunately, the principal had raised boys. My now 11 year old son is still active, but also kind, thoughtful and helpful. I’m looking forward to the Rainbow Loom with my 3 month old daughter!
Oh, that’s really hard to have the teacher in on it. I’m glad you got support from the principal. And yes, Rainbow Loom is awesome. I rock the bracelets my daughter makes every day!
No the teacher had reasonable expectations of public behavior is school. If frightful that the principle of all people over ruled her on the behavior that was expected in her class room. The boys are boys EXCUSE is no real excuse for poor parenting and lack of consistent discipline in the home.
I agree with you, mum. Gender is no excuse. Also, in reading through this thread, it saddens me to see just how far we still have to go in relation to gender stereotypes.
And before anyone squawks about it, I am the mother of a son.
AGREE
Um…you don’t even know what when on in the classroom.
WOW….You have just LITERALLY descrribed my life! My daughter Iris wasn’t a total angel by any means but she was NOTHING compared to my son Oscar….the boy is high energy, dirty, noisy, smelly, revolting and totally bonkers…he eats used teabags, shaving gel, pumice stones, flour, blu-tack, and he climbs the walls like a bloody monkey….He is FULL-ON and is never OFF! I have to have eyes in the back of my head…..and there is nothing wrong with him….He is just A BOY…..an incredibly funny, cheeky, cute ,loving little boy and I wouldn’t change him (altho I am praying he will soon run out of energy..just a little bit :-/ )
OMG Claire you made me laugh! My boy is bonkers too. I’m thinking it will serve him well in his career as a marathon runner/truck driver/acrobat/pirate one day!
No he is bonkers because you ALLOW that behavior and use his gender as an excuse. What parent LETS there child eat flour, used tea bags or all the other crap you listed. NO is not a bad word these kids have no respect for you which is why they keep on doing it. A serious oh crap mom means it stern talking too and a time out enforced one min per year of age and consequences CONSISTENTLY enforced will end it may not stop the next great idea but they will begin to think before they pull hair-brained crap in the future.
Wow, just wow Mummy of 2. I have dealt with parents like you, one being my own sister. She was the “perfect parent” of 2 “perfect” daughters. I was the bad parent, who allowed my daughter to be bad. LET ME TELL YOU NOW!!! My sister cries all the time now on how did I end up with a beautiful, respectful, and mature daughter, who is married with 2 children and a third on the way, when she has a daughter that God only knows. (Not going to air the trash here). I am also a Nurse, I was also a teacher and I was also the leader in my church taking care of both boys and girls. Boys will be boys, OH YES THEY WILL! Girls can be just as rambunctious as boys, as my daughter was. Most of her friends were boys.
Your sanctimonious BS is terrible. Being judgmental is not a good quality in anybody and I am afraid of how judgmental are your children?
Letting your children jump off of couches or go head down a slide is NOT what is making the youth of today so bad. It is the Entitlement attitude… I am not going to go politico here.
I have two grandchildren, boy and girl, who are “perfect” too me. Yep, the boy does all this stuff that Deva said her does, and then some! AND I love it! He is fun, the best at cuddling in the world and has a heart of gold! His sister is 10 months old and is following in his footsteps. Yes it keeps my daughter on her toes, but she cherishes each and every moment. Deva never said she didn’t discipline her children. You assume that, and guess what assumption does??? Makes an ass out of you!
I lost my son when he was a baby and I wish to God that I memories like the ones that my daughter does of her son. Playing Ninja and superheros is just plain fun!!! I jump on the bed and couch with my grandson. We are having fun! And don’t go there, I discipline when the need arises.
P.S. please use spell check when you can. *there* should be *their*. See no one is perfect. Praise God for that!
Go Grandma!!!!! Perfect response. No more need be said to the troll.
This post just made my day! Thank you! I have two boys so I know nothing but but trucks, tractors rolling, jumping, yelling, and everything in between… I’ve felt judged in many situations to where I’ve been in tears. My husband always reminds me they are just boys learning… I hope this post will open up others eyes. “Boys will be boys” and that is the only way I’ll have it.. Again I thank you for this wonderful post!!!!!!!
Aw, L, you’re so welcome. Thank you for reading it! Boys certainly will be boys!
Get a grip on your kids running ,jumping, yelling and rough housing are great OUTSIDE not in the house and certainly NOT IN PUBLIC. There are other people you share this world with have some F*cking consideration for the others around you and not tolerate BAD behavior from you children period. Use discipline and appropriate consequences. Boys will be boys to the extent that parents ALLOW it. Who runs your house you the adult (?) or your CHILDREN!!!
mummy to 2 what the hell is wrong with you?!? If the comments on this page bother you so much, LEAVE! I TRULY admire Deva’s control in just ignoring you and your unwelcome rants. You are getting so worked up over something that has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! What does this say about you? Maybe you need to look in the mirror and figure out what is so wrong with you/your life that you are such a miserable troll! (Hmm… grown kids/grandkids never come to visit? Gee…)
Deva, I am so sorry there are people who cannot understand the purpose of blogging, letting it out and choosing to make light of situations. I hate that the play date mother went to someone and said such horrible things. Obviously the problem is hers, not yours. Everything I’ve seen tells me you have your head on straight and that you choose to laugh rather than cry over trying situations. I also don’t believe you need some self-righteous strangers trying to tell you how to raise your kids. I’m sure that if your son had hurt his friend you would have responded appropriately.
I read something really sad and was scrolling through Facebook to cheer me up before I went to bed. Your post did, until I started reading the comments by the trolls *coughmummyto2cough*, *coughDaniellecough*
Anyway, keep doing what you are doing, And keep blogging about it, with humor and grace. And I TRULY commend you for your grace and self-control in ignoring the trolls. Kudos!
maybe all kids are just different and it has nothing to do with gender whatsoever. maybe it would be cool to stop expecting certain things from our “boy” children and “girl” children and just let them all be “children.”
Absolutely. My son just happens to be wild and crazy. But there are lots of calm boys and crazy girls and everything in between! Thanks for the comment.
Thank you for writing this. My son is now in second grade and let me tell you there were times I wish he would just kick the other four year olds ass when their moms got all up tight about an impromptu sword fight.
🙂 I’m a mama lion too, Julie!
Obvious by your comment that “you want a 4 year old to kick another kids ass” that YOU are where he get the idea that violence is ok. the apple does not fall far from the tree.
Then heaven help your children, lady!!!
As a grandmother and great grandmother, I had 4 children, two boys, and two girls. I treated each as an individual , not categorizing any of them as typical boy and typical girl. Each of them had traits that were good and traits that were difficult. Notice I did not say bad! Each child is a person unto themselves, part of them is how they are brought up, and part is inborn. Neither is right or wrong, they just are. They are individuals – sometimes good, sometimes different. We had fun in their childhood years, and each has grown to be a very special person, with their own individual traits. They have become wonderful mothers and fathers and I am proud of my children and wouldn’t have had their upbringing changed in any way!
Thank you for your perspective! Yes, it’s important to see our children as PEOPLE and individuals!
I have two young boys. Yes they are energetic and rambunctious but they also know when that behavior is & is NOT appropriate. For the most part kids do what they are allowed to get away with. In our home it has been made clear from day one that playground behavior will not be tolerated in the house. Stop using the “he’s a boy” excuse (lazy parenting IMHO) to let your child be an ahole. Set clear rules & boundaries with consequences & enforce them always.
I was waiting for a comment from another perspective. All children have their rambunctious moments. It’s clear from many of these responses that boys aren’t the only ones that get wild, so we shouldn’t generalize and say “boys will be boys”. I can see the humor and relate to most of this. I understand that you are sharing your experience with the contrast between your son and daughter, and it is crazy how we can raise two kids the same way and their behavior is so different. However, I was turned off by: “Hey, look at me! I can jump off the sofa and my mom won’t yell because there’s a witness in the house!” In that sentence alone you are showing that your child knows he won’t be disciplined because there is an audience. I do believe we have to accept our children for who they are, but as parents it is also our job to be consistent with boundaries and expectations. How we react to their actions, plays a big role in their behavior. Sorry to sound like a soy chia latte judgy mom…
I so agree. This one sentence stuck out to me as well. I have 3 healthy, active children, one who is a spectrum child. I also teach. I have experience as a special education teacher as well as general education. I can’t stress enough how important clear, concise, consistent messages must be if we expect our kids to not only succeed, but not suffer anxiety trying to determine why sometimes things are okay, and sometimes they aren’t.
My mantra is “my house, my rules.” That means for my kids as well as any of their friends. If my kids aren’t allowed to do it in my house, their friends aren’t either. I’ve had to correct many kids behavior at my house, and have done it both with their parents present, and without. And I say exactly what I said above – “My rule is this. That is not allowed at our house.” We actually have one family that had to be told that their child is no longer invited over as I had to speak with him too many times about following our rules. Interestingly, guess who has all the kids most of the time? When I tell people that’s how things go here they expect that my kids friends would never want to be here, while in reality, the opposite has occurred.
I wish there was a like button for this. Ditto and amen.
Said so perfectly!
Thank you! Yes.
having been on the receiving end of ppl like you, i don’t discipline my daughter because i’m sick and tired of ppl jumping in with “oh, don’t be so HARSH!” “you’re so HARD on her! she’s just a little girl!”
never mind that she’s MY little girl; I know her, you don’t; and ffs, she’s not made of spun sugar.
so no: i don’t discipline her the same when there’s others around.
So, you don’t discipline your child because of what, peer pressure? If it’s your child and you know her best and you think she should be disciplined for her behavior, who cares what they think. I’m sorry, but this is a sad excuse to let your child misbehave, and honestly, setting a terrible example for the child.
I think what she is saying is that she does things differently because there are so damn many judgmental assholes in the world that think they have all the answers. They think that if it worked for them and their special snowflake, it must be that way for everyone and if it’s not, well, obviously they are doing something wrong or making excuses. One size fits all parenting, that’s the way to go. Maybe it is setting a terrible example for her child for her to worry about comments or judgments from others, but it is setting a terrible example jumping on the internet and judging people and making them feel inferior for being human sometimes. Everyone is different and everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. Maybe you don’t suffer from this particular weakness (worrying what others think) but ai promise you, you fail in other ways you may not even see. We all do. Seeing the world as so black and white (“I did this with my children and they are perfect angels, so everyone should do this because it worked for me”) is exceedingly egocentric. Your experience and your children will never be the same as anyone else, ever. Jumping on someone and acting so superior because you do things differently does not make you superior…it makes you judgmental and narrow-minded.
I can’t stand when a parent says “he is all boy” or “he is just being a boy” as if that is a free pass for bad behavior. I am in the trenches now with a three year old boy, but he has boundaries and consistent discipline. Yes, he can be wild but he knows the limits. It is possible to to have a well behaved boy, who is a joy to be around.
and what IS a “well behaved boy”? little lord fauntleroy with the button-down pressed shirt and the side part?
there’s an ADHD boy who comes over to my house to play with my daughter (he’s the only kid in the neighbourhood who can be bothered). he runs, yells, screams, and carries on like there’s no tomorrow.
newsflash: it’s just noise. bfd.
I agree with what you say, it’s not a free pass for bad behavior. I say my son is “all boy” because he likes cars and planes and trains and boats and bugs and tools and karate and guns and swords and all sorts of sports and running and wrestling. It gives him no free pass on behavior whatsoever. My daughter likes many of these things too, but she plays differently. Whatever my son plays, it needs three things: speed, sound effects, and either a competition or a crash. These things are just less important to my daughter. Now I admit, some of these things he likes because he knows his daddy does, but so much of it was just natural to him. Because of this we are often harder on him because racing and wrestling can escalate quickly into behaviors we don’t allow, but he IS a boy and these things just come so naturally to him and as long as no one is hurt or reasonably bothered or he is disrespectful we want to allow and in many cases encourage this behavior because its part of who he is. As his parent, his going nonstop and having to monitor and decide what is permissible and what isn’t and then dealing with the confusion of being told he can’t say climb up the kitchen cabinets and help himself to a snack and then jump down and tackle his sister can be completely exhausting and I would be pretty defensive if someone was snooty and judgmental about it. My son is a good kid. He is usually well behaved, compassionate, and sensitive. He just has lots and lots of energy and some hair-brained ideas. If something like this were to get to my sons ears or if he was treated differently by this family he would be very upset. I don’t know if this is exactly what the author is talking about, but this is where I relate to her as far as “all boy.”
YESSSS you said it perfectly. Using gender as an excuse for poor behavior is just an excuse to NOT parent. Clear rules consistently enforced is key. I applaud your sound parenting.
Thank you so much for this! Everything you wrote about your son describes my 2 year old word for word! I don’t think my son will EVER be the kind of kid who can sit and do rainbow loom for 3 hours and that’s OKAY!!! Our sons are the only REAL MEN we need in our life.
What a refreshing post. I totally relate. I see the concerned looks from my friends with placid kids as mine hurtles around at 90 miles an hour. They often suggest playdates in tea rooms with china and glass ware and don’t understand when i suggest it might not be that child friendly. I am a bit evil though, one of my fiends who had a girl first who sits and colours while my son throws crayons, has now got a toddling, very active boy and i can’t help thinking “I TOLD YOU SO” when she comments on how much harder it is.
You ALLOW him to throw crayons charming. If he was mine he would be sternly lectured about the dangers of throwing things placed in time out one min. per year of age. If you do not teach him to respect his toys how can you expect him to respect say your car when he barrows it at 17.
Mummy to 2, can you honestly say that your children have listened to you everytime you talked to them????? I bet they went behind you back and did it again…. that is a kid thing to do regardless of girl or boy….. I have two of each and my girls were very well behaved in our home and out but guess what they sure did like testing me did things they knew would get them in to trouble… but again they are being KIDS… now my boys are younger and do not listen to any one…. the sturn talkings dont work…… I have a son that has ADHD this is not a free pass to do what ever they know the rules and yet they do not follow them…… I beleive each child is different and talking to most dont work…. excpecially kids that can not focus for more then 5 seconds…… Can you not relate to anything anyone has said?????? then I suppose you are one of those parents that their children went and got in trouble behind your back…. got drunk at a party with out you knowing, smoked….. kids will do what they want when they want you cant always be watching them…. and so what a kid threw crayons….. I bet you slam the cupboard doors…. I believe there is something in the bible that says do not judge less ye be judged…….. Im sorry you seem to be perfect and we dont really know you but i bet most of the ladies here wouldnt want to…… who would want to be around a know it all that judges instead of giving helpful tips to help with rowdy crazy kids……….. SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!!
Great article! I have 3 boys ~ this is the story of my life!! The stares at the playground and comments that friends have made. Hey, they are ALL boy and enjoy playing. They are also the sweetest kids I have ever met (my 4 year old gives “magic” hugs ~ his term). One thing I can’t stand is mommy judgement.. We are all trying to make it on this journey. Instead of judgement, how about encouragement? If you see a mom in the store who is about to lose it with her kids, take a moment to reassure her ~ a kind word goes a long way (where as a nasty look makes the situation worse..). 🙂
Teach you kids how to [properly behave in public and you will not get the stares. Playgrounds are for wild and crazy play not the produce section.
What is your problem???
My child is disciplined just as you suggest “mummy for 2” however that does not always mean there will not be an outburst in public, especially from a 2 year old who is hungry and tired! I think every mom does their best and it is okay to give suggestions, but to cut mothers down the way you have does not make anyone want to take your suggestions into consideration! Maybe work on your people skills!
A dear friend and I were sitting at the beach one day, both of us have a daughter similar in age as well as boys the same age. While observing them in their state of play we both had the comment of my despite he and I not being “Car guys”, that the boys came into the world absolutely enamored about cars, trucks, planes, and sticks. A theme that almost 5 years after his birth still holds true.
Boys will be boys.
I bet they wore baby cloths with cars, trains and planes and you wonder where they go there love of them they were surrounded with them from birth!!!
I have no idea when you made all the comments, but do the world a favor and take your shitty attitude and know it all, bitchiness and GTFO of here… If you don’t like what she’s saying, STOP FOLLOWING THE FUCKING BLOG!!! Easy. As. Pie.
I have 5 boys and this is just how boys are!!! Mine behave at a restaurant or if we go out (for the most part lol) Boys have alot of energy, you gotta love them <3 I love this story 🙂
I have one of those rambunctious kiddos, only mine is a 7 year old girl, and that my friends is definately a big no, no! I lover her! She doesn’t take anyones nonsense and I’m okay with that. Having a girl who is playing boy sports, wearing boy basketball shorts, and being overly excited and competitive is who she is. I can’t stand those moms who look at her and sneer as if they have a boogie blocking their airway because she doesn’t havea Poodle sized bow in her hair or pretty buttony uggs on her feet. Love your kids for who they are! As moms we should all be supporting each other not judging. It’s sad but unfortunately it’s the world we live in. I leave those people out of my life and watch my little sport princess romp around all the other kids and wish they could let lose for once!
I have a soon to be 6 yo daughter and a 6 month old son. My daughter is a ball of energy, she never stops. Other kids have a hard time keeping up with her on the playground and she loves to see how many steps she can jump down from at home. My son has already figured out how to punch, although most of the time it’s his own face. I think parents forget that kids have different personalities and energy levels.
She should try coming to my house – it’s not just my boy, mum joins in too!!! Running down the high street chased by bears, jumping on the bed, you name it, we both do it. It’s called being a kid, and I think most girls would do it too if it wasn’t so frowned on. This one sure does!!!
This is a good article that discusses real (biological) differences between boys and girls and how we, as parents respond in different ways to gender. From the article:
“Bias is very often unconscious and eliminating bias is not really possible. Our goal, then, is to be aware of it so we can think twice and find other ways to equalize the bias. In Lise Elliot’s book Pink Brain Blue Brain, she details the small differences that exist between boys and girls at birth.
For example, boys are about 4-5 ounces heavier and 1/2 inch longer at birth. Boys also have slightly larger heads and thus are slightly more difficult births.
The real issue isn’t how different boys and girls are, but how parents react to those small differences that turn them into the much larger differences society associates with boys and girls.
For example, ‘common wisdom’ says that girls are more social and boys are more physical. Studies, however, don’t bear this out.”
http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/11/gnp-avoid-implicit-sexism/
That may be the case some of the time. I get to see the boy-girl differences first hand everyday with my girl boy twins. When they were born I treated them pretty much the same in regards to how I interacted with them. Maybe it is just my kids but gender differences started appearing quite early. My little boy was very active, not happy unless he was moving. He has a fascination for all things cars and trucks (and no, not all of his clothes were not covered by them either – most things were gender neutral by necessity). My little girl on the other hand has always been much more vocal (she is their spokesman), talking much sooner than her twin, loves being social and walked very late because she was happy to just stay put. My kids are now almost 3 and he is all boy and she loves all things princess. I still laugh at how polar opposite they are in almost every aspect; they are even opposite handed and I wouldn’t have it any other way! 🙂
I have 6 year old twin boys… Completely opposite of each other! They seem to have nothing in common. I often joke that I am surprised they could share the womb! They are generally good kids. They know the rules (in public and at home) and push the limits… Some days A LoT!! I try to let them play.. to be kids… to release energy, but TRY to calm them down when the time comes. I do not want to be the kind of mom that does nothing but yell at my kids. Kids now have so much more going on than when I was a kid, school is harder, organized sports start at 3, an homework in preschool! Just like I get burned out or stressed and need a break, I think kids do too. I want them to have happy childhood memories, not all discipline and yelling! Some people say lazy parenting is letting your kids play, but I think the lazy ones are the ones who force children to behave as a zombie or trophy. That is not creating memories or spending time together. Kids need to use their imaginations, play, and run outside. Yes, they need boundaries, but they ARE kids, not short adults, so they will break rules and push boundaries occasionally.
Your son just perfectly described my 16 month old daughter. She is wild, hyper, has to climb everything, jump from everything, I swear she should have been a boy lol
Terrific and you ALLOW her to climb everything an jump from everything even when dangerous or unsafe. Discipline is whats missing here.
can you go away, please? go tend to your children instead of spending hours lecturing others on parenting.
I agree. Letting children climb and jump is a really good thing, btw. Starting to feel bad for your kids now actually.
She has no children and is a troll. Sadly feeding it will only make it bigger. Her supposed degree and experience are made up, to make her sound more credible. She is simply put a rude, disrepectful, undisciplined, cranky, petchulant child who was never loved and feels the need to berate, belittle and bully her way into ever conversation because she didn’t get attention as a child. And now every comment about how our children are throws her into a tantrum kicking and screaming in the middle of her living room floor while she yells “no no no, you are ALL WRONG AND I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO IS RIGHT”. And if we don’t say we raise our children just like she does with her imaginary ones we are bad parents. It’s all about how much attention you feed it. So ladies how would we react to a tantrum of this magnatude? Let’s band together and simply walk away until our ignoring of it no longer feeds it. Btw I really laughed at this blog. Made me smile.
We were foster parents to a darling little girl who after 1.5 years was reunified with her family. Then 10 days after she left , I was blessed with 2 little boys age 4 and 2( whom we have since adopted along with 2 other siblings a girl and a boy ) . I remember their first week living with us sitting in amazement and asking my husband why EVERYTHING had to make Vroom, Vroom noises. Now they are 12 and 10 so of course they’ve graduated to fart noises a potty jokes – but in the end – they are still boys!
Loved this article. As a mom of 3 crazy boys (ages 7, 5, 2) I LOVED this article! We need to let our little boys be little boys!
LOVE LOVE LOVE. I have 4 boys, 7.5 and under and they are all total, 110% boy and I get lots and I mean lots of looks. I can feel the thoughts, “Doesn’t she know how to parent her child?” “He is way too hyper.” “Thank gosh I don’t have boys.” I can’t stand it. But you know what? It’s not that I can’t stand the intolerance and behind-my-back chatter because he is a “wild” boy, it’s the fact that the chatter happens at all! Boys or Girls as many have stated can be forces to be reckoned with, extra energetic, and extra awesome. Kids are kids. They are learning and they are experiencing and they are enjoying life. No other parent should turn to another and criticize how a child behaves, period. Pick on someone your own size I say! (P.S. Feel free to tell me directly if my kid crossed the line and his behavior was truly unacceptable. Chances are I have already had the same thought!!! But talk to me, not about my kid!)
Discipline him and expect that he behaves well and HE will. Allow crazy behavior and it will continue. The behavior i keep seeing described is utterly inexcusable and disrespectful to those around you and down right dangerous based on what some have said.
that’s because you’re a freak who thinks children should be little dolls with strings in their backs.
Actually, she makes the point several times that running around crazy at a playground is fine. She’s just asking these parents to teach their children how to respect others and behave appropriately in public… Just saying.
Nope I’m with you, she’s in Lalaland.
I have four boys 🙂 If your son didn’t interact physically with everything in his life, I would think something was out of the ordinary! Life with boys is always fun and interesting!
I’m the mother of ONE child, ONE wild, snotty, loving, picky, snarky, Italian/irish, spoiled 4 year old boy. I’ve never seen so much wild and crazy in one person! last night it was flying elbows to a pocket pitbull and choke holds to the poor girl. then he tried to ride her. I always wonder if my mini person is the only one with an attitude comparable to a 15 year old teenage girl….then I read a blog like this and think “okay, I’m not a crazy person raising a crazy person (or maybe I am and it will all balance out someday, or maybe not!)”
I do know that if I didn’t follow other moms blogs I would think I’m the worlds worse mother and that no other moms scream at their 4 years or feel like the only thing keeping me going some nights is a glass (underplaying that, it’s a bottle) of wine. I’ve also given up on the comparing my whacko to a girl his age, who are we kidding here, they will never develop the same, even in the 20ths and 30ths!
thank you for some sanity!
YOu nailed it right on the head in your own words “SPOILED” allow them to act like spoiled brats and that is what you will get!
WOW and you allowed our child to abuse an animal in this way you are a real piece of work lady. Abusing animals is a scientifially proven sigh of potential future psychotic and dangerous behaviors. Thank GOD you did not have other children you would let him choke hold them as well.
mummy to 2, you need to stop!!! that child was playing with that dog! and if he was hurting it im sure the mother would have stopped it right away!!! This is ridiculous!!! I am the mother of two, boy 10 and girl 2, and my girl is the wild one! my kids are well behaved outside of my home!!! Kids need to feel comfortable in their own home!!!
You lady are crazy!! Why are you even on here? I am a single mother of a wonderful 14 year old girl. Was it always wonderful..NO!! She was running at 9 months, Her first word was a screaming “NO”..lol thought it would be daddy..yeah I wasn’t always a single mom.. She climbed everything, including the fridge..she was and still is very smart. We used all the discipline “rules” you are so quick to throw out there…guess what..didn’t work!! By age 2 she was in so many time outs, long talks..lol too funny to even think about now, trying to explain and use logic with a 2, 3, 4, and yes even a 5 year old..give me a break!! We had all the rules, she had all the more reason test those rules! She at 2 could open double grated high safety gates, she knew enough to wait until one of us turned our backs..just for a second, you see, not everyone like you can watch a child every second, sometimes you just have to turn to answer a phone, have a pee..which I took her with me..but have you ever been in the middle of that and she decided to run out..already figured out the door knob safety at 1.5 years old and then one big toe in the baby gate and she was through the living room, and had all the drawers pulled out in the kitchen, to use as stairs, and was standing on the kitchen counter..all within seconds..not minutes!! yes another talking to, yes another time out..guess what miss “know it all” kids are smart, maybe yours weren’t..but mine was/is. At age 4 we found out she was deaf..that’s right deaf..and yet she was so smart she taught herself to talk, read lips, etc..to the point no one had any idea that she could not hear. Yes my daughter has been and still is “spoiled” She as a little dare devil, could out do any kid, boy or girl, and had no fear…But is was/is kind, beautiful, smart and a joy to watch as she bloomed into the amazing young lady she is today. No special classes or treatment..her choice, in school, and yup I’m one proud momma of a VERY trying, daring, sometimes hateful, always none stop energy 24/7, wonderful little girl who now has been on the honor roll since forever. We let our daughter be who is was, the good the bad and yup sometimes the ugly..but guess what that is what parents are suppose to do..let there kids figure it out, let them find out life isn’t always fair, but at home..you are loved and safe to be the you God made you. So why don’t you do everyone a favor and just leave!!
Mummyof2 – my assumption of you is that you have some deeply rooted anger issues. As I read through your responses, assumptions about people you have never met, name calling towards others children……I am truly questioning your sanity. Even if you have valid points, your delivery is confrontational, accusatory, and downright hateful. I do not care to see where you are coming from. You might want to learn that it is time to grow up yourself and learn how to have a civil conversation. You are acting like a child, plain and simple.
Wow! I can not believe you let your child torture and abuse your pet like that. You should not have an animal if you wont protect it. Amazing what people think is acceptable. I feel horrible for your dog. Did you know that can break the animal’s back and essentially, kill it? The other poster who pointed out that cruelty to animals is a predictor for sociopathic violence is correct.
Y’all hush she didn’t ask for your advice, she needs encouragement. You are making wild assumptions.
Don’t usually comment or reply to any blogs or posts but just wanted to thank you. I have two boys who are ten months apart. Prior to having them I really was never around children. The first two years I was constantly doubting if I was doing something wrong and even more so I was wondering if there was something wrong with them. They are just boys. Everybody’s always ready to label people… if u are too quite they worry about you, if they are too loud there is something wrong. Every child is different. I actually had an older gentleman make a comment about my children at a restaurant. I work at this restaurant but wasn’t working at time. My boys were being good that day too so I followed this man outside and made a few comments to him. Thanks for making me feel like I’m not alone.
If the regular guests in your establishement are complaing maybe it is you childrens behavior you should be paying attention too. AND correction not older men who were raised to behave properly when dining out.
Mom of two I’ve read some of urban comments actually most of them since you are so perfect why don’t you get your own blog and see how many people read your posts. Everybody is different and there is no need to belittle everyone for being honest about their feelings or talking,some people don’t have someone to talk to and this helps
Oh, you’re so welcome, Kimberly. Thank you for reading and enjoy your wild boys! Two 10 months apart is amazing!! You deserve a medal 🙂