First of all, I had a whole two hours to myself. When I got there, I changed into my gown and sank back into the hospital bed with a big AHHHHHHH. No one was tugging on me or fighting around me. No one was demanding snacks or spitting on me. It was heaven. Who cares if I had a raging fever and was so dizzy I could barely stand? I was all alone, and it was wonderful.
The nurse came in and asked if I felt safe in my home; if anyone harms me there. I told him that yes, actually someone does harm me. “My 3yo abuses me all the time,” I said. He laughed. I told him I wasn’t kidding and showed him the bite mark on my butt. He laughed harder.
He may have mocked my plight, but the fact that he even asked, that someone was concerned about ME and took a moment to care about my well-being was amazing. Even if he was getting paid to do it.
As a mom you give and give and GIVE and often get very little in return. Motherhood can be a thankless job. Of course my husband cares, but he’s also drowning under work/kids/life. And young kids have the compassion of gnats. “Sorry you’re sick, Mommy. Now wipe my butt.”
I’m not good at putting myself first. Or second. Or third. I’ll be the first to admit. As a mom you're often at the bottom of the heap putting everyone else's needs before your own. So when you are #1, when someone takes a moment out of their busy day to check in with how YOU are doing, it can be amazing. Yeah, I'll use that word. The ER was amazing.
It’s pretty sad when you have to go to the hospital to get a moment of TLC and relaxation. But at this point, I’ll take what I can get!