by Erin MacPherson
My boobs were actually saggy before I had kids.
Don't get me wrong—they were glorious. Big and full without a stretch mark in sight, but without the right bra, they definitely sagged a bit. And in all of my pre-kid naïveté, I felt the need to complain.
No wonder my mommy friends rolled their eyes at me. They knew what I know now: My boobs were the best they would ever be. Because after pushing out three kids followed by six and a half years of breastfeeding, (don't ask, I had weaning issues,) my boobs are… well… deflated. And when I look in the mirror, I can't help but feel a bit nostalgic for my perky days.
I’m not alone. This year, as I worked on my new just-for-moms series of sex books, I interviewed hundreds of moms around the country about sex, romance and boobs and discovered something very interesting: We moms have a confidence issue.
Can I get an amen?
I've heard it time and time again from my hot mama friends: “How could my husband think I'm hot when I have a muffin top… when my hips grew seven sizes to prepare for birthing…when my booty is so wide… when…”
I know I'm preaching to the choir here ladies, but we have to stop. Right now. Because there's something else: I also interviewed hundreds of men. And while plenty of them told me that they loved their wives' post-kid bodies, that they thought their wives were hot, that they wanted more sex, not one man told me that he thought his wife's boobs were too saggy or her muffin top was too big.
Not a one.
We have got to start embracing our hot mama selves, saggy boobs and all.
I'm willing if you are. Today, let's look in those mirrors together, look past those saggy places, those things that aren't they way they used to be and see the beauty. The sexiness. The hotness. Let's proudly yell “I am hot mama! Hear me roar!”
Because I may be too old to pull off a strapless bra, but I'm certainly not too old to have a hot sex life, saggy boobs and all.
Here are 8 ways to get started:
- Get the right lingerie. One of my favorite bra stores, True & Company has an online quiz where you can answer a few questions about your boobs and it will recommend bras that solve all of your fit issues. (And you guys, I ordered this hot pink lacy number a few weeks ago and let's just say it must have some sort of magic underwire in it. The thing is amazing.)
- Have sex. The more sex you have with your man, the more confident you are going to feel about your body. And I'm not just saying this, proof abounds. Just ask Google and you'll find hundreds of studies proving that having sex does all sorts of amazing things for your confidence, your body, your mojo, your hotness… (Need a little inspiration? We're doing a Friday Night Lights Off challenge where you'll get a fun, flirty sex tip delivered to your inbox every Friday for free. Click here to sign up.)
- Don't even think about looking at a fashion magazine. I get it. Those girls are perfect and the clothes are divine. But looking at girls who are airbrushed to perfection wearing clothes you can't afford is a huge confidence killer. And who needs that?
- Write yourself a love letter. My boobs may be saggy and my belly may be flabby but ladies, my calves. They rock. Whenever I need a little confidence boost, I write down a list of my hottest body parts and focus on those. Nothing like a good long list of the good to push away the bad.
- Ask your man. I can pretty much guarantee that your man thinks you're hot. No, really. Ask him. I'm sure he'll give you a piece of his mind.
- Change out of your yoga pants. If you had asked me six months ago to take off my yogas, I would have said “over my dead body.” But here's the thing I learned when I was writing “10 Fashion Fixes to Feel Confident and Sexy”—when we dress confident, we act confident and we feel confident. So while I certainly am not asking you to change out of those yogas for school pick-up (who does that?), I am telling you that maybe taking a shower and changing into something cute before your husband gets home from work would make you feel… hot.
- Go shopping. Since we're talking about changing out of your yogas, I can't help but take the next step and tell you to pick up something super adorable to wear on those days when you need a confidence pick-me-up. Pick up a great pair of jeans or splurge on a couple of outfits that you know will help you to feel hot. Then wear them proudly.
- Let them flop. Let's just be honest: Those boobs aren't going to magically get all perky again. Which means we've got to learn to flaunt what God gave us. So, go get your man right now (remember, he loves you and your boobs) and let him see what you've got.
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Erin MacPherson is the author of more than nine books, including “Hot Mama”, her new series releasing in 2015. She lives in Austin with her three kids and her hot husband. She blogs at www.erinmacpherson.com.