You’re a good mom.
I just wanted to tell you that in case no one has told you that in a while. Or ever.
I wanted to let you know that your butt wiping and boo boo kissing and mac n’ cheese making isn’t going unnoticed.
I know sometimes it seems like no one appreciates the sacrifice you’re making. No one appreciates that you’ve given up EVERYTHING—your sleep, your social life, your time, your energy, your perky boobs, your abs, your brain, your heart, your LIFE—to be a mom.
Motherhood can be a thankless gig. There’s no yearly review in which our boss sits us down and tells us what a stellar job we’re doing. There’s no bonuses or promotions. Hell, there isn’t even a base salary.
Instead we get punched by tiny fists. We get our nipples bitten. We get woken up in the middle of the night. We get called poopy head. We get eyes rolled at us and doors slammed in our faces.
And while sometimes it seems like the challenges are more frequent than the rewards, the rewards are there. If we stop to notice them, they’re there.
They’re there when your son kisses the palm of your hand. They’re there when your daughter smiles at you. They’re there when your kid hands the last lollipop to a friend in a small act of kindness, and you know, in that moment you know, that you’re a good mom. Because you’re raising a good kid. A good kid who just forgets to tell you, “You’re a good mom.”
You are.
Subscribe to my blog and YouTube Channel!
Great post thanks!!!! Your a good mom too, with hilarious videos that make my girls and I laugh so hard our stomachs hurt and we got tears coming down our face. 🙂
Aw, thank you!!!! Thank you for saying all of that!
Thank you I needed this today. Going on 4 hours of sleep for a week straight now (everyday) You are a good mom too, thank you for all the videos and advice you give. I messaged you a few weeks back about my daughter not eating, she still doesnt eat well. but she is growing.
April- Thank you for saying that. I remember talking to you about your daughter. I’m so sorry the food challenges are ongoing. If anyone understands, it’s me. My daughter had failure to thrive for 2 years. It was the worst, scariest thing I’ve ever been through. She wouldn’t eat. Some days not even a bite. She didn’t grow. She’s now 8 and she eats really well. So all I can say is hang in there. Message me any time. If I can help I will try.
was your daughter adopted? my kids are adopted and they are three yr old twins i am now going through this thing where they will not sleep . or eat . i got them when they were one. they have become picky eaters but now even more they wont even hardly eat the ten things they will eat and wont go to sleep. it seems even good changes in their life throw them off. i just happened upon your post today.
I kind of needed that, now I’m happy crying, lol Thank you! You are aware that you, too rock as a mom, right?
*HUGS* Thank you for saying that. I try to remember it, but we don’t always remember, do we?
Beautiful. Just beautiful. Thank you for sending that out into the world. xoxo
Thank you, Foxy. xo
Too hard to read when I have this much of water dripping down my face.
You suppose to make us laugh. Mad at you! NO!!! Just kidding. Thank you.
Sorry Nayda 🙂 You know YOU are an amazing mom!
Thank you for that. There are many days, like today that we need kind words to pick up our broken spirits. Every day I look for your posts on Facebook, to know that if a great Mother, like yourself is at times struggling, then I will also get through my day.
Thank you for helping all of us keep our sanity through your humor.
Oh yes, I struggle. And struggle. And struggle. And then there are moments of parental grace. Moments of happiness. And then more struggle.
Thank you, Jackie, for being on the journey with me. xo
I’m actually feeling a bit like a crummy mom today. I couldn’t ditch my kid off on his grandmother fast enough. So this was really nice to read 🙂
I know YOU are an awesome mom … and lady. We all have our moments! And amen for grandmas 🙂
Well said!
🙂
I know this has been said in many other comments but I REALLY, REALLY needed this today. It is bad enough when you feel unappreciated by your children or told you are the worst mom ever for not letting them have their way but, it hurts when adults point out what they think you are doing or have done wrong. My thought on that is that we are all human and even moms make mistakes. We are not cut from the same mold. What works for one mom may not work for another.
They say that if you do 10 positive things and 1 negative thing people remember the negative. Which is sad.
But no child is born with a manual or a list of rules of what is right and what is wrong.
The important thing is that they are loved.
When my son was mad at me he asked, “Do you even love me?” and (frustrated with him at this point) I said, ” If I did not love you then you would not be here.” and after a few minutes (of pouting) he came in and said, ” If I am here does that mean you still love me mom?” and I smiled and said, “I will love you always and forever no matter what?” He said, “Wow! Does that mean I will be here with you forever!?”
It is moments like that when you know you have to be doing something right no matter what anyone says…. lol
Stacy- I couldn’t agree more. It’s hard enough to be a parent without the peanut gallery giving their opinion on … EVERYTHING. And the fact that you show your kids unconditional love, even when they’re not acting very lovable, speaks mountains about what kind of amazing mom you are!
One evening last week, my husband was playing dinosaurs with our son and making up voices. Suddenly using one dinosaur he says, “I’m Mommy and all I do is yell at you!” On one side, I nearly divorced him on the spot (especially after the evening we had been through). . On the other, I acknowledged my sacrifices and all that I indeed do with him. Thank you for the post, Deva, and for the work you do to add brevity to the trenches. You are a great mom!
Thanks for this post. You’re an awesome mom too. I really needed this today…been studying for my Master’s and feel like I haven’t spent as much time with him as I should. 🙁
The struggle between doing things for ourselves/improving ourselves/working/going to school and being the ever-present mom we want to be is one I struggle with daily. I think by getting your Master’s you are showing your son that even when you’re “all grown up” you can follow your dreams and I think that is incredibly valuable thing to model to your child. CONGRATS!
Thanks….I’m definitely doing this for him! Thanks for the awesome words, makes me feel better 🙂
🙂
How beautiful ! Often I hear what a good Grandmother I am, And Yet, l I would still love to hear the words ……..I am a good mother.
Nan- It sounds like we never grow out of wanting to hear a few words of appreciation. No matter how old our kids. xo
How beautiful ! Often I hear what a good Grandmother I am, And Yet, I would still love to hear the words , you are a good Mom.
Oh, this is beautiful, and a message that every momma needs to hear sometimes. It’s just that you have such a great way of putting it 🙂
What a wonderful, difficult, frustrating, rewarding path we are on, and each of us is putting our own little twists on motherhood, but we are doing our best and we need each other for strength and support, so thank you for being that to so many of us. I raise my glass to all of us! Xoxo
Cheers Teresa! Here’s to mamas everywhere doing our best on this insane, amazing journey. xo, Deva
I really needed to hear this tonight… it’s been a rough day, my only day off from work this week at a job where I was supposedly only hired to work part time, but had “mandatory” full time and overtime thrust at me. After dragging my kids all over town to try and get my errands run, and my house is trashed, and my patience is thin, and dinner was pb&j, and my kids managed to toilet paper their room with every single roll in that BRAND NEW package of 24 rolls of toilet paper that I just bought TODAY….
I needed to hear that.
Kayla- I’m so sorry things are so rough right now. Hang in there. Life sounds exhausting right now. And OMG- the toilet paper! AK!!!! I hope you took a picture before you lost your mind 🙂
to say I needed to hear this today is an understatement!
my 3 year old daughter decided that I wasn’t her cup of tea, only her dad could feed her, change her and get her ready for school.
needless to say I left for work a wreck, after bawling my eyes out and thinking I can never do anything right.
your post put it into perspective for me again. thanks!
Kajol- I’m so sorry. They’re such fickle little creatures. My son only wanted daddy for the first 8 months of his life. It was heartbreaking. My friend said she never saw a breastfed baby prefer the dad. Now he’s a big mama’s boy, so it all evens out in the end 🙂
Thanks for this – I think it’s all something we need to hear once and a while!! I’m sharing it so that I can tell all my friends they are good Moms too!! And to those of us who use Grandma (or work, or whomever) to help us… I had a friend say to me once, I need a break so that I can recharge and be the best Mom I can be…. no one can be the best without a break, and knowing you need one helps make you a good Mom!!
YES! We can so easily fall into the martyr mom trap and not take care of ourselves or ask for help. I do it all the time. Taking care of mama makes mama a better mama 🙂
Deva that was an awesome read. It is so hard at times and we all need some lifting up! What you are doing here is amazing! Too many women feel alone is the journey of motherhood. Love ya!!!
Oh my gosh Tabitha, thank you for saying that. It’s so good to hear. I love you! xo, your loving cousin back atcha
Aww… That’s so touching. I’m only a 14 year old boy who is a huge YouTube fan. Bit this really moved me. I’ll remember to tell my Mom thank you more often. I’ve never slammed a door in her face but when I do sleek my door she tells at me. I’ve never told her I hated her but I thought it sometimes. Hey don’t get me wrong here every kid thinks it once in their life. Even over a stupid reason. And you know yuppy don’t mean it. But thanks for this!! I’ll try to yay my mom even better!!.
JOEY!!!!!!! Hello!!!! I am so honored you commented 🙂 Yes, every kid has those feelings and they’re totally normal. You sound like an amazing son and your mom is one lucky lady to have a kid like you!
Beautiful post for all moms!
Thank you, Maggie!
I just Love you!!!! You put out there what we are all thinking and feeling. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone 🙂
Thank you for being a part of my journey! xo, Deva
Someone should make a “you’re a good dad” one
YES!!!!!
Thanks for telling us what we are all hoping is true.
You’re so welcome.
Thank you for that. I am going to Pin this and re-read it whenever I am feeling the “thanklessness” of motherhood. Thanks for taking the time to say what so many of us moms need to hear.
YAY! I love that!!!!!
I enjoy reading your blog and watching your videos, which I absolutely relate to. I was told today by an older lady in the grocery store that I am a good mother. It’s nice to hear this because there are days when I do not feel that way. The days when I feel like running and hiding because I cannot tolerate my hair being pulled for the 50th time by my adorable seven month old (yes, he is adorable, even when he is screaming as though someone is killing him because he has to wait for his bottle to warm or when he is fighting sleep), and when my preteen step-daughter is sassing me, not listening, and barricading the bathroom or her bedroom door. If you think their mouths are bad now, just wait until they get older and find new words to say–eesh.
And while I typed this, I was also being head-butted by my lovely boy. Haha
But, I get paid in hugs, gooey, slobbery kisses, and “I love yous,” so all the drama of the day is worth it when they lay down at night. I wouldn’t trade being a mother for anything in the world, not even a day for myself–which I wouldn’t mind.
Thank you for your blogs and parodies. They keep mommies like me smiling, laughing, and getting through our day–that and caffeine.
Melissa- I’m honored to be mentioned in the same sentence as caffeine! LOL That’s big 🙂 And you’re so right. It’s hard but it’s so worth it. There’s nothing on earth I love more than my life suckers.
I didn’t think a few written words could make me cry, but they did. I started crying reading the very first sentence and couldn’t stop even after I finished reading this post. Everyday is a battle with two very active boys (2 and 3, 13 months apart), but the random hugs and seeing them grow make everything worthwhile! I’m going to forward this post to my mom friends and make sure I tell them in person that they’re good moms. Every mom needs to be reminded of this from time to time. Thank you 🙂
You’re so very welcome, Allison. Hang in there, mama! xo, Deva
Fantastic. I am a mom of 3, my oldest just left for college. The night before he left, I sat in his room alone, crying my eyes out. I started to think about what “regret”s I had in raising him, as he was about to fly the nest. And guess what…i had NONE. Every minute that I gave to him, never missing one of his sports games (EVER), every laugh, every sacrifice, every life lesson (his favorite! ) came back to me 10-fold. My other 2 are only 8 and 10, and I learned a lesson in this
….while I am far, far, far from perfect, I’ll be a good a mom as I can be, so when these 2 leave this very messy nest, i still hope to have “no regrets”.
THIS made me cry. I don’t want to have any regrets with my babies when they’re grown either. I love hearing you don’t. xo, Deva
I am new to your blog page but not new to the videos 🙂 which I love. I have been reading all the comments and amazed at the outpouring of thanks from the moms that “think” they are not good or not doing things right. I am a mom of three, a 15 yr old girl, who is going to be the reason I reserve a room at the local mental hospital, a 10 yr old boy and my surprise that barreled through my birth control, my three year old daughter/princess, that will PUT me in the mental hospital. I’ve learned that every mother has her doubts and thinks they should of, could of done something different. Always second guessing themselves. I am one of those moms. My house is far from organized, I am not Betty Crocker or even Emeril Lagasse – I barely have time to paint my toenails much less have a pedicure done. I’m lucky if I get a shower in…oh yeah, did I mention that I work full time also??
I’ve had to learn ladies, that it’s one day at a time. It’s times that when they go visit nana for a week and then I receive emails or texts from family members (inlaws) telling me that my husband and I are doing something right because our children were nothing but polite, thoughtful and well behaved, I think “OMG! Are they talking about MY kids?” Then the tears and relief that just MAYBE we are doing ok. I appreciate your blog and your videos that make me laugh and appreciate being a mom 🙂 That it’s okay to be crazy and unorganized at times…..
LOVE THIS! Welcome to my blog. And yes, we need to be easier on ourselves and realize that YES! We are good moms! xo
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I needed this today.
You’re so very welcome. xo
Thankyou for this. I recently did a 14 hr day at work i rang home and my son was still awake so i said put him on the phone. My son answered with hello poopy head. Sometimes you just need to hear that your not the only mum that has to hear things like this as it can be upsetting at the time. Also LOVE your parody’s they make my day 🙂
Melissa – You’re so welcome. Sometimes we need to hear that we’re doing a good job. Moms so rarely are told what an incredible job we’re doing when we’re giving EVERYTHING to our kids. Hang in there!
Thanks so much for this! I’m new to your blog and and just love your videos. I have a 5 yo girl, 2 yo girl and recently gave birth to a boy 11 weeks ago. Got more crazy at our house so your videos is one of my source of entertainment during my maternity leave (going back in 2 weeks! eek).
Just today that “All About that Bass” song was playing on the radio in our van and my 5 yo daughter was telling me the song sounds like that video I was watching with a Mom and her two kids. I had a big smile in my face cuz I was remembering the lyrics to the song. lol She saw me watch it like a few times laughing. heh. After I’m done with this… going to watch it again. lol
You’re so welcome! And congrats on your new baby. Sounds BUSY!!! 🙂
And thanks for the love for my parody – I’m glad it’s brought you some silly laughter!
xo,
Deva
You are the funniest thing on Facebook – keep up the good work – you are giving a voice to so many women – in the most lighthearted way ! I love your posts!
Hi Suzanne- THANK YOU so very much for saying that!!! Made my night 🙂
Your videos are the only thing that keep my head above the sea of toddlers that is my life. It keeps my kids entertained when every once in awhile all I want to do is bury my head into a bowl of cheerios and cry.
Oh Deb, I hear you mama. Hang in there! Happy to help even a little bit. xo
Does your husband really ask is it bedtime yet? Especially when I have to drag my 2 toddlers out of the corner. All I have to do is put your “what does my kids say” video on. And all 4 of my kids come running. It is a very popular video for kids age 7 and under. Keep them coming!
I love that kids like it!!! So cool.
Um … yeah, I think he’s asked if it’s bedtime yet before 😉
so true. thank you so much for saying it OUT LOUD. so needs to be said to all of us – to each other and to ourselves on a regular basis. You are a good mom too. :)))
xo, thank you!!
Thank you so much! So encouraging! My husband and I just got in a massive argument last weekend because he commented that I have it easy and spend all day “doing nothing”. I homeschool my autistic seven-year-old, aside from doing all the household stuff, AND I’m disabled! I never get a break and I’m in pain all the time. Easy?????? Yeah, I’m still a little mad. 🙂 I love your sense of humor and I know you are an AWESOME mom, just from the jokes you make. Only someone who really cares complains that much. 🙂
LOL – thank you! And OMG! That husband of yours better show up with a big bunch of apology flowers! Hang in there, mama!
Thanks for the sympathy! It’s ok, he tells me he got me an awesome Christmas gift…I’ll let you know in January if I’m still married. Seriously though, he’s generally a pretty good guy. He’s the poor guy who works 70 hours a week to support a disabled wife and autistic son. I’m still jealous he can go to bed whenever he wants, but I’ll probably keep him. 🙂
They all have their moments. As do we 🙂
thank you Deva, I needed that, LOVE your videos!
Hi there!! I stumbled onto your parodies on YouTube today when looking for the mom song set to the William Tell Overture… I watched the let it go parody first… then I had to see if you had more… of course I subscribed, then followed on facebook… then this blog caught my eye… I’ve had a rough couple days, my 21 yr old is in a rough spot and thinks I’m to blame for all her troubles… (yea, it happens even after they are adults…) anyway at the risk of repeating the other comments, I really needed to hear this today… I’m a mom of 7 ages 25, 21, 19, 18, 9, 7, and 6… only 3 girls in the bunch and boy am I ever so glad they were not close in age… (25,21,and 9 yr olds are girls…) I’m going to keep reading, thank you so much for the encouragement and hey, *YOU*, are a great mom and a great encouragement to all moms out there… keep doing what you’re doing, maybe more moms will have the courage to share their stories and not worry about the nay-sayers and judgemental people who probably haven’t even raised one child…. I’m a full time mom, fulltime hairdresser, and part time tattooist..
Char! Welcome, welcome! I am so happy you found me. I’m sorry you’re having a rough time with your 21-year-old. I guess it never ends 🙂 Motherhood is so intense. So amazing, but so hard. We’re all just trying to do our best and I have no doubt that YOU are an amazing mother to those 7 children. Hang in there and again, I’m so happy to have you here! xo, Deva
all moms need to hear this now & then no matter who is saying it. hopefully one day your mom work pays off. my day was today when my 19 year son told me he told his 16 year old sister last night that “we have probably the best mom ever, because she raised us to not be idiots”. i’ll take what i can get 🙂
Best compliment ever! I hope my kids feel that way some day. xo
All my utmost respect to all the Moms. If there was a review panel, it would have to consist of Moms(like they would have time…) who currently have 2 to 5 year olds. love the videos and the website. Amazes me how you find the time. Again, respect…
Aw, thank you so much!!! And yes, moms deserve all the kudos!
I have been out all day collecting Ryan’s stuff from his dorm, as he graduates College this week. Crazy, quick life I have!
Anyway, thanks for your words, you really are a very special person!
Happy Mom’s Day to you!
Love,
Me
Happy Mother’s Day, Ellen!!!! Congrats on making it all the way to college graduation with your (not so) little guy. AMAZING! Enjoy the moment. You did it! xo
Thank you , the day to day struggles are exausting and sometimes can bring me to tears espescially when the “what did you do all day” comment comes out . I really enjoy your blogs and the videos they help me make it through the chaos.
This is what I try to tell myself at least once a week. When they are misbehaving I remind myself they are generally good and that is because I’m a good mom. We all need to hear this. Thanks for the reminder.
Thanks. I have a “special needs” kid and I get the opposite A LOT! Expenses and difficulties in getting ‘attendants” caused us to go w/ home schooling and so the first jab usually has to do with THAT. Like how could I do THAT to my kid(!?!) and how come I’m “so lazy” and “uncaring” and then goes on IMMEDIATELY to POLITICS (and religion) because I must be conservative religious nut-job, right? I usually remind people that Obama was home schooled when he and mom were Indonesia to put things in perspective. Seriously, before my older kid went to school I was working even if was doing on call editing for clients–some of whom thought I was on call early on Sunday mornings and in the middle of the night–but that’s another post. I originally wanted 4, but only 2 “happened” in 11 yrs (no “fertility doc” because I believe in adoption when the couple is “approved” and has the money–no petri dishes!). It’s nice to read this because you get tired of all the flak and “encouragement”. I put quotes because some gals I know will start with advice or I hear them in public claiming they are “encouragers” and then they go on to start “encouraging” you –MOSTLY giving “advice”–and end up making you wishing you hadn’t stepped out of the house that day. That’s reality. I love my kids and they can be amazing sometimes–and sometimes they make you pull your hair out. but they’re my kids and I love them. I think what all the “encouragers” and “advisors” need are some kids or serious needy grandkids, or elderly parents with dementia (GOT THAT TOO! erg.), or a FREE SET of PUPPIES or KITTENS! Too bad I can’t just drop off some puppies or kittens or an out of it senior (might get in trouble with THAT ONE), or totally non English speaking out of it immigrant. Sorry, but that’s how I feel sometimes. It’s gotten to where if I know certain peoples’ habits, I schedule our activities around so I don’t have to meet up with them. I am SERIOUS!
Great beat ! I wish to apprentice while you amend your web site, how could i subscribe for a blog web site? The account aided me a acceptable deal. I had been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered bright clear concept