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The Truth Behind Our “Perfect” Holiday Card Photo

Here is our holiday card this year.

The front:xmas-card-front-2014

And the back:xmas-card-back-2014

Isn’t it nice? Don’t we all look so happy? Doesn’t it look like the BEST FAMILY MOMENT EVER? Braaaa haaa haaa.

Shockingly I’m actually in the photo this year. Usually my Christmas card is a picture of my kids. A lovely, adorable photo of my kids that I practically killed myself to get. I’ll bribe. I’ll threaten. I’ll beg. I’ll do ANYTHING to get them just to stand still for four freakin’ seconds and look into the camera. It’s hell.

So when my friend and fab photographer Morgan Pansing offered to take our holiday photos this year, I was thrilled. Someone else could deal with my kids wiggling and giggling and doing everything BUT holding still for a photo.

“This is going to be GREAT!” I thought. “This is going to be so stress-free!” I thought. “What could go wrong?” I thought. Cue the horror music.

The morning of the photo shoot I woke up with Mount Zitvisus on my face. Seriously, the largest pimple I’ve ever had in my life appeared on my chin. I picked at it because, well, how could I not? If I’ve got a massive zit on my chin, I’m gonna attack it. After I did zit battle, it looked like I had a huge, gaping, massive wound on my chin. Which is way worse than a pimple. All I can say is thank the makeup gods for cover up!

After I attacked my face, I went to get the kids dressed in their photo outfits. My son refused to put his clothes on. He’s very picky and didn’t feel like wearing the jeans I picked out. When I finally wrestled them on, he claimed they were “too big” and went running through the house for thirty minutes screaming, “TOO BIIIIIGGGGG!!!!! TOO BIIIIIIGGGGGG!!!!!!” The irony is they're like two sizes too small. Because I suck. And they were the only clean pair.

Did I mention he had a cold too? So the poor guy had snot running down his face all day. And of course he wiped that snot all over me. Because moms are just big, huge tissues.

Then my mom sliced her finger on a knife and bled all over. I have a condition called vasovagal syncope, which means I pass out when I see blood. So that was fun.

Then my brother started chasing my daughter inside in a fun game a of tag. My mom and I kept telling them to stop. But you know, no one listens to moms. Not even two of them.

Suddenly we heard a huge crash and a blood-curdling scream. The iron fireplace grate had fallen onto my daughter’s head, leaving a big, red, angry welt right above her eyebrow. (Perfect timing.)

My daughter started screaming in pain.

My mom started screaming at my brother.

I started screaming at my mom.

Then Gabe started wishing he’d married into another family. Or at least a quieter one.

But fear not, his brand of crazy came out when he refused to put on the matching white polo shirt I handed him to wear. Why? I don't know why. I finally told him to stop acting like a 5-year-old and PUT ON THE DAMN SHIRT. To his credit, unlike the 5-year-old, he put it on.

By the time Morgan showed up with her camera, we all looked perfectly happy and put together in our matching white outfits (yes, WHITE! Because I’m crazy.) She never knew the drama that ensued just moments before she walked in the door. Thankfully. And thankfully Morgan is a total pro and the actual shoot was really fun, especially once we got in our Christmas jammies from our Holidays Are Hell video. Thanks for making us look good despite it all, Morgan!

Happy Everything, everyone!

family-fun-2014

mom-daughter

deva-son-jammies

cellphone-naughty

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Related Posts:


  • The Elf on the Shelf is Stressing Me Out!

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  • The Christmas Tree Massacre

  • How to Buy Gifts for Your Spouse Without Stressing

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Comments

  1. Linda Breault says

    December 24, 2014 at 6:32 am

    LOVE THEM!!!! PICTURES ARENT SUPPOSED TO BE “PERFECT” WITH LITTLE ONES IN THEM!!!! AND LOOK AT THESE “THEY’RE “PERFECT”!!!!! LOVE YOUR BLOG!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

    Reply
    • Deva says

      December 24, 2014 at 8:51 am

      Merry Christmas to you too!!! xo

      Reply
  2. Teri says

    December 24, 2014 at 6:33 am

    Good photographers can make a huge difference, but you guys are pretty freaking photogenic so it all worked out! Beautiful family pics!!

    Reply
    • Deva says

      December 24, 2014 at 8:52 am

      Morgan is great! We lucked out this year. 🙂

      Reply
  3. Danica says

    December 24, 2014 at 7:28 am

    I love the card, and the story behind it! Especially the part about darling daughter’s injury just before the shoot… My son is sporting a nice black eye this year from soccer, so no holiday photos for us until that goes away, lol. Thank you for sharing and for a year full of making us laugh ’til we cry with your videos! Blessings in the New Year!

    Reply
    • Deva says

      December 24, 2014 at 8:54 am

      Oh man, Danica! I foresee a LOT of that in our future with my son 🙂 One year he had a huge wound on his head for school photos and I figured it captured the “reality” of what was really going on.

      Reply
  4. Stacey McGhee says

    December 24, 2014 at 7:35 am

    Great photo. Love it! One day I’ll have the courage to have a family photo done. The problems that occurred didn’t mess up the pics. Lovely family.

    Reply
    • Deva says

      December 24, 2014 at 8:54 am

      Do it!!! You’ll be happy to have them (even if it’s a nightmare getting them).

      Reply
  5. Deb says

    December 24, 2014 at 8:04 am

    Awww, so cute! Might just be the hormones talking. But now I wanna cry! I wish I had half the luck you do. My holiday photo always ends up in at least one kid crying and one kid screaming. And me screaming at one of them.

    Reply
    • Deva says

      December 24, 2014 at 8:55 am

      Ugh. We really lucked out this year. Thanks to Morgan!

      Reply
  6. Charlene says

    December 24, 2014 at 8:44 am

    LOVE the pics! Our one attempt at a family photo has us looking like a mafia family! Everyone showed up wearing black and the photographer was so hilarious that everyone has tears streaming down their face with smiles on, and my one year old only smiled for one picture. (I have two stepsons that were 16 and 23 in the pic – both in black) so with snowflakes in the background – we all were in black – except for the one year old – who was in pink and white – of course – we still laugh about it today – so the memories were all worth it!

    Reply
    • Deva says

      December 24, 2014 at 8:55 am

      That’s all kinds of awesome!

      Reply
  7. tarra says

    December 24, 2014 at 8:45 am

    The light gives you all halos. Nicely done!

    Reply
    • Deva says

      December 24, 2014 at 8:55 am

      Ha ha! We were in LA at the time at my mom’s house – gotta love that LA light!

      Reply
  8. Rebecca says

    December 24, 2014 at 12:12 pm

    Gorgeous pics of your lovely family Deva! Thanks for sharing the story behind the perfection. It sounds JUST like our recent photo day! Our pics came out pretty perfect too, but it would have to be one of my more stressful days. Merry Christmas from Australia to you and your little rascals. xoxo

    Reply
    • Deva says

      December 24, 2014 at 6:23 pm

      Merry Christmas to you, too! Glad you made it through the holiday hell 🙂

      Reply
  9. Musings, Rants & Scribbles says

    December 24, 2014 at 12:40 pm

    Whatever the calamities that befell before this photo was taken, you are a beautiful family. Happy Holidays.

    Reply
    • Deva says

      December 24, 2014 at 6:23 pm

      You’re sweet! Thank you and happy holidays!

      Reply
  10. Joy says

    December 24, 2014 at 1:39 pm

    Love the family photo, especially the last one. Merry Christmas

    Reply
    • Deva says

      December 24, 2014 at 6:22 pm

      Thank you, Joy. Merry Christmas!

      Reply
  11. Rebecca says

    December 24, 2014 at 4:56 pm

    Our families are so alike! Merry Christmas!

    Reply
    • Deva says

      December 24, 2014 at 6:22 pm

      Merry Christmas!!!

      Reply
  12. Morgan says

    December 26, 2014 at 7:57 am

    I had the best time snapping photos of you guys! What a fabulous, fun, BEAUTIFUL, loving family!! Hope you’re having the best holiday season ever! XOXOX

    Reply
    • Deva says

      December 26, 2014 at 9:16 pm

      Thank you for the amazing photos!! xo

      Reply
  13. Craig Mangus says

    December 26, 2014 at 11:07 pm

    Deva, I appreciate your posts and videos. I know it seems hard to live in an less than perfect world. These are the best times of your life! Remember them as your children will grow up so fast it is scary. It seems like just a few weeks ago my sons were at the stage you describe. Now they have children of their own at the Christmas terrorist stage. You kids will still hug you. They are still precious. Wallow in it, these are the good ol’ days you will fondly look back to. Felize Navidad, Craig M

    Reply
  14. Kelli says

    January 4, 2015 at 7:22 am

    I love your blog, and this article especially. As I look at my wall of holiday cards I received this season, I can’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy over my friends/family and their “perfect” photos with their perfect lives. Being a stay at home mom to 3 young kids myself, life is exhausting and so “unperfect” that I always wonder if I’m doing something wrong. Kudos to you shedding light on the truth – every one of these holidays cards I’m staring at have their own crazy stories behind them! And to be honest, my holiday card turned out pretty great, regardless of our crazy life we lead here at home. And one of my friends is probably staring at my card thinking I’ve got it all figured out. Cheers to putting everything in perspective and never assuming someone else has it better than you!

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Real Mom Holiday Photos says:
    December 21, 2015 at 11:06 am

    […] year we take holiday card photos. And every year, after lots of bribery and crying and fighting, we finally get a decent shot to […]

    Reply

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