“I Want Your Boobs Back!”

off-limits“I Want Your Boobs Back!” Anyone else hear this complaint from their husbands? Mine has been saying it since I first got pregnant eight years ago and my saggy boobs went into time out.

I promised him that when I was done having and nursing babies, he could have them back.

I lied.

Ever since I peed on that stick, I’ve had a look-don’t-touch policy. Actually, with the state they’re in now, it’s more of a don’t-look-don’t-touch policy.

I stopped nursing over two years ago, so I don’t really have a legit excuse anymore. But I don’t know … it’s like my boobs have been baby-fied forever and since they found their “real” calling in life they don’t want to go back to their teenage antics. Once you view your breasts as baby feeding machines, it’s hard to see them as sexual objects again.

That fine line between mother and wife is often a tough one to walk. It’s hard to feel sexy when you’re covered in spit up and so tired your bones are weeping. It’s hard to want to be caressed and touched by your husband when you’ve been mauled all day long by little demanding tyrants who have no boundaries when it comes to your body. After a day of being sat on, tugged on, licked, bitten, hugged, snuggled, punched—you name it—the last thing you want is to be touched by another human being.

I know this state of “don’t touch my boobs” isn’t sustainable. I do want to rekindle the romance with my husband. I want to give my boobs back to him. And I will. Promise. Just as soon as the kids move out.


  1. says

    I met my other half after I had kids and sometimes I feel bad that he only ever got to see them deflated. At least I can throw them in a kickass push-up bra and fake it. 😀

  2. Jeff Blinkinsop says

    Ouch! When the kids move out!? I definitely respect that view, and I know what you mean when it comes to having your view change with kids. Watching my 4 month old nurse (He is our 3rd) sometimes changes my view of my wives boobies as well, I do in fact want them back as well!! She has made the same promise that I get them back when we are done with kids (and since I had a Vasectomy 2 hours ago I think we are done) I want my wife to feel beautiful and sexy and I tell her she is every single day, I hope she’ll do me a solid and give me back her boobs. They were mine first 😉

  3. Jena says

    Glad my hubby has a sense of humor about it. I tandem nurse, so between my 3yo (totally not ready to wean) & 3mo, my boobs see a lot of action in a day, and if one of the kids starts getting rough with them, he leans over & whispers, “You should stop that–I get those back one day…”

  4. Jessica says

    I hear this daily. I live in nursing bras a nd nursing pads covered in coconut oil and other boobie essentials… I keep telling my husband “soon” but know things will never be the same.he’s seen me hooked up to a breast pump for 8 months for my daughter, fill our freezer for the first months of my son’s life while I produced enough milk for an army of babies, watched me feed our son for going on 8 months now with a tongue tie and me screaming at him (my husband) because my boobs hurt, now one is 3 times bigger than the other because my son won’t eat from the other. There is no going back.

  5. Jessica G says

    I literally tell my husband you can touch them just don’t make it feel like nursing. And i proceed to cringe and wait til its over. LOL I love my husband very much but my boobs just don’t work that way anymore. Feeling like you are nursing your husband is NOT sexy. At all.

    Unless you are a weirdo.

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