Public restrooms are nasty places. Add kids to the mix and they become downright hazardous. Why? Because somehow kids can’t quite grasp the concept that they’re in a Hazmat zone and not the nice, clean(ish) comfort of their own homes.
Here are 10 things I said to my son while we were in a disgustingly dirty freeway rest stop bathroom:
- Don’t sit on the floor.
- Don’t lie on the floor.
- Stop rolling on the floor!
- EW!!! You’re touching the potty with your privates! Stand back!
- Yes, those are feet. Wait … stop … please don’t crawl under the door. Let go of her ankle!!!!! Sorry, ma’am!
- Don’t unlock the door. Why? Because I don’t want the whole world to see me peeing … Oh, hello ma’am.
- Don’t stick your tongue on the sink. I highly doubt it tastes like ice cream. STOP LICKING THE SINK!
- Please don’t clean the sink with your hands. The sink is for washing your hands. Not making them dirtier.
- Just take one paper towel. You don’t need 400 paper towels to dry your hands.
- No that’s not a mailbox! It’s for … mommy things. GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THERE!