I hate exercising. So I avoid it. At all costs. I hate to brag, but I’m kind of a genius at making excuses as to why I can’t get my sweat on. Want to borrow them for your own exercise avoidance? Here you go! My top 10 excuses I make to avoid exercising!
- I can’t exercise because I’m too hungry.
- I can’t exercise because I’m too full.
- I can’t exercise because I’m too thirsty and if I sweat I will lose even more fluid and then I’ll become dehydrated and have to be hospitalized and then my children will have no one to watch them and my husband will have to leave work and then he’ll get fired and we won’t be able to pay our mortgage and we’ll lose our house.
- I can’t exercise because my glasses will fall off and I don’t feel like putting in contacts and then showering because they’ll get all fogged up and I can’t see when they’re fogged up and my kids always have an emergency when I’m in the shower and I won’t be able to see them or help them if my contacts are all fogged up. So exercising is actually a form of child endangerment for the near-sighted amongst us.
- I can’t exercise because my hair is clean and styled and I’m not going to get the chance to blow dry it for at least a week so I’ll walk around with the “mom bun” for days on end and that will be bad for my marriage. In short, I can’t exercise because it’s bad for my marriage (and my hair).
- I can’t exercise because I don’t have time. I mean, what if I miss something on Facebook?
- I can’t exercise because I’m too tired. I mean, doesn’t all that tossing and turning I do at night as an insomniac burn a lot of calories anyway?
- I can’t exercise because I’ll get my yoga pants all dirty and sweaty and then WHAT WILL I WEAR?
- I can’t exercise because my boobs are too big so I have to wear a special exercise bra and then change into another bra when I’m done because exercise bras are super uncomfortable and sweaty under-boob sucks. And changing bras is not gonna happen. As we all know getting into even one bra a day is almost too much to handle. So yeah, I blame my boobs.
- I can’t exercise because I have kids. ‘Nuff said.
Okay, okay I know my excuses are lame! So I’m going to exercise today. Promise. Well, I’m going to try. Because let’s be honest, we all know how that’s gonna go down (ahem, Real Mom Ab Workout, anyone?).