The Elf on the Shelf is Stressing Me Out!

A few days ago I woke up to the adorable pitter-patter of my daughter’s tiny feet. The birds were chirping, the cool winter sun was shining … and the first thing I thought was, “OH CRAP! I forgot to move the freakin’ elf.”

I bolted out of bed half-naked and dashed down the stairs past my daughter claiming I had an “emergency.” I ran into the living room and reached for the elf up on top of the bookshelf … but it was too late. I heard my daughter breathing behind me. She stood there all white-faced and creepy like one of the girls from The Shining.

“Mommy, Jack didn’t move last night,” she said. [Read More…]

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Screw You, Santa

Last Christmas morning, my kids woke up at the crack of dawn, of course, and ran downstairs to see what Santa had left them under the tree. They squealed with … [Read More...]


Losing Lovey

My son lost his lovey. His name was Smelly. He was a yellow, or formerly yellow, raggedy duck blanket. His bill was … [Read More...]